a brief bitch list
Hey, who doesn't like to complain from time to time? I try to limit my whinging (great Irish term for whining) to a bare minimum, but being that it was my birthday yesterday, my birthday present to myself is the chance to kinda complain a little. Here's a list of things that have annoyed me as of late:

• When you tell someone you're sick and their response is "Ugh, well, stay away from me." Fuck you very much buddy. I'm sure I told you as a warning for your help, not because I was looking for a little human compassion or anything. Seriously, what the fuck is up with humanity that sympathy takes a backseat to greedy self-interest? It's like the president spending 40 million on his inauguration (SECOND inauguration) while the rest of the countries in the world spend half their GDP on tsunami relief. Urgh.
• People who say "I have an addictive personality" as an excuse as to why they have such little self-control. First of all, it should be addicted personality; the other way it means I can't get enough of your banal ass, and secondly let's call a spade a spade - you have no willpower, you are weak-willed. As far as being somehow genetically easily addicted there are three possibilities - 1) family history of alcohol abuse 2) family history of narcotic abuse, possibly while you were fetal and 3) you're a weak-willed lame-ass. "Addictive personality" my ass.
• The death of the individual's rights and powers. I mean seriously - I feel like the individual man is so ridiculously powerless in our society today. I feel like the elite in our country run everything the way they want it with no concern for how their methods of making profit affect anyone else. (this includes the current executive administration) The "little guy" has no power, absurdly enough, in the greatest democracy on earth. Seriously, the rich get away with murder, while the whole country has to watch and digest the murder trial of a fucking manure salesman.
• This country's bizarre obsession with celebrity retards. I saw a show on VH1 today about the most "Shocking Celebrity Hair Moments." An entire show devoted to celebrity hair. I almost showered with the toaster after being exposed to that level of ridiculous celebrity minutiae worship. Beyond that, all these celebrity "moment" countdown shows on VH1 are just turning into the bitter not-so-famous taking the most vicious potshots at legitimate celebrities for the most strained of reasons. Get a legitimate career, losers.
• Yeah, I had more, but I've had like three or four glasses of wine since beginning this blog. I guess I just have an addictive personality.

posted by MAtt D. at 10:52 PM

 
Just got back from my dad's wedding. It was a nice ceremony, but made my weekend kind of blurrrr by. Traveling halfway across the country and back in 3 days with little to no sleep will do things to ya. I know I've learned that the less time I spend in Texas, the better my life will be. We had a connection in Houston, where the airport is named after the current president's father. This lead to conversations that tittlated my brother and I and annoyed Alli, who had the severe misfortune to be traveling with us.

UPON ARRIVAL AT GEORGE BUSH INTL AIRPORT IN HOUSTON:
MATT: I just can't wait to get into Bush.
BEN: I'm so excited to think that in a few moments we'll be unloading into Bush. (peering out the window at the grass surrounding the runway) You'd think the landing strip would be better trimmed. I hate a long landing strip at Bush.
MATT: At least it's not raining like the weatherman said it would. I was expecting a wet Bush.
ALLI: (embarassed that other passengers might be hearing this) You guys! Grow up!
BEN: Sorry. You know how excited us guys get about Bush.
MATT: Yeah, don't worry, it's only an hour layover.
BEN: Yeah, I usually like to spend about an hour in Bush and then take off.
MATT: Don't most men? Heh heh (dirty look from Alli) Uh, love you honey.

LOOKING INTO THE FOOD COURT:
ALLI: I'm hungry. Do we have time to eat?
BEN: I always like to eat when I'm in Bush.
MATT: Look, they have a Rubio's. For some reason being in Bush always puts me in the mood for a fish taco.
ALLI: Matthew!

BEN EMERGES FROM THE BATHROOM IN THE TERMINAL:
BEN: God, what a disgusting mess.
MATT: Bathroom's not clean?
BEN: No. God, if there's one thing I hate it's an unsanitary Bush. (Alli groans, thinking this was over)
MATT: So, you're telling me this is one stinky Bush?
ALLI: Come on, we need to get to our connecting gate.
MATT: We need to hurry then. I don't know who designed this place, but this Bush is so spread out.

WAITING AT THE GATE FOR OUR CONNECTING FLIGHT:
MATT: Looks like we're going to have a crowded flight.
BEN: Jesus, it's like everyone comes through Bush.

posted by MAtt D. at 5:45 PM