The kiddies report for school bright and early Monday morning. I'm scared to fucking death. I feel woefully underprepared. As a matter of fact I should be working right now but I can't bring myself to focus. I have always been a last minute pressure guy and I'm hoping I won't let myself down on this most important of projects.

Where did my summer go? I don't even think I went back to Redlands except for at the very beginning when I needed to store a bunch of shit at my mom's because it wouldn't fit in my new house. Alli tells me that after you start down the path to CareerLand you begin to realize how short the weekends truly are.

Everything in this world costs money. It is necessary to have some means for procuring this money if only for the means of survival. Thomas Carlyle suggested "Do the Duty which lies nearest thee" - do the work that is closest to that which you would enjoy. Knowing that I would never be able to sit in a cubicle, I became a teacher, a role I have aspired to throughout my life. As Mr. Antolini tells Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye (and I'm paraphrasing here) - don't fight the system tooth and nail, move with it, go through it until you are in the position to make a difference, then act. I fancy myself a strong individual, one who has not lost any of my individuality by joining the "rat race." Sorry if this bizarre rant seems to have come out of nowhere; it is resultant of both a barroom conversation I had with a friend as well as observing the restlessness of many young people my age... Nutshell version - yeah, we'd all like to do what we want with our lives, but contrary to what our instant gratification nation has been telling us our whole lives, you do have to put in some time and work in order to be able to do with your life what you will.

I think I may be coming into the Red Land the weekend of Sept. 10 (possibly.) I hope our globe-trotting friends will be back by then. Otherwise, I hope to see the rest of you at the Falconer.

posted by MAtt D. at 2:54 PM