WTF is up with blogger these days? First putting that bar thing across the top of everyone's page OVER the content... which you can get around by going into your template and putting one or two more "br" tags right before the start of the table tag... and Secondly, and no disrespect to Cory, but when did blogger become Xanga? Profile along the side, you have to have a log-in to comment? I'm so glad I saved the original HTML for my blog. Geeky bitching aside...

First week of school down. I hope I'm getting through to my ese vato class. They at least kind of interact with me now. They're still too "hard" to really put effort into the class, but being a gringo que habla has piqued their interest. I've heard that after the first week things get easier. I hope so. Lucky for me, I have curriculum guidelines now. As free-spirited and hippy-dippy as HTH was, the complete lack of guidance really did me a disservice as far as being a planner goes.

There are all these shows and movies about how hard it is to be a high school student, and the funny situations they go through as they come of age, but I'm realizing more and more that teacher's lives are just as bizarre. I don't have any clue how to write a script, but if I did, I would write it from the teacher's POV. I think it would have universal enough appeal. Not everyone is a teacher, but at some point everyone has had a teacher.

Again, planning on being in the Tierra Roja region on the weekend of the 10th. We shall see. But I hope to see everyone again.

posted by MAtt D. at 12:40 PM

 
The kiddies report for school bright and early Monday morning. I'm scared to fucking death. I feel woefully underprepared. As a matter of fact I should be working right now but I can't bring myself to focus. I have always been a last minute pressure guy and I'm hoping I won't let myself down on this most important of projects.

Where did my summer go? I don't even think I went back to Redlands except for at the very beginning when I needed to store a bunch of shit at my mom's because it wouldn't fit in my new house. Alli tells me that after you start down the path to CareerLand you begin to realize how short the weekends truly are.

Everything in this world costs money. It is necessary to have some means for procuring this money if only for the means of survival. Thomas Carlyle suggested "Do the Duty which lies nearest thee" - do the work that is closest to that which you would enjoy. Knowing that I would never be able to sit in a cubicle, I became a teacher, a role I have aspired to throughout my life. As Mr. Antolini tells Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye (and I'm paraphrasing here) - don't fight the system tooth and nail, move with it, go through it until you are in the position to make a difference, then act. I fancy myself a strong individual, one who has not lost any of my individuality by joining the "rat race." Sorry if this bizarre rant seems to have come out of nowhere; it is resultant of both a barroom conversation I had with a friend as well as observing the restlessness of many young people my age... Nutshell version - yeah, we'd all like to do what we want with our lives, but contrary to what our instant gratification nation has been telling us our whole lives, you do have to put in some time and work in order to be able to do with your life what you will.

I think I may be coming into the Red Land the weekend of Sept. 10 (possibly.) I hope our globe-trotting friends will be back by then. Otherwise, I hope to see the rest of you at the Falconer.

posted by MAtt D. at 2:54 PM

 
For all two of my friends who actually still read this - I had a great revelation the other day. Basically I had this idea in high school that if I worked hard and lived relatively cleanly, my life would go how I planned. I always thought that you go to high school, then to college, then you get a job and grow up. Everything I had planned (with the exception of truly growing up) has happened, and I have to feel somehow empowered in that I feel like I made it happen for myself. I worked hard in college with a goal in mind, I met said goal, and now right after college I have the job that I worked for. Naturally I had help from my mom and dad who always encouraged me and oh, paid for college - but they didn't make me study and they didn't make me go through hellish schedule juggling to fit all my Practica and Student Teaching in around an undergraduate schedule. In some cases I felt obligated by all their help and support to do well and meet my goals, but in the end they were still my goals, goals that I realized in the time frame I had set for myself. I know it sounds like quite a bit of back-patting going on from my position, but it's a very good feeling that I'm not ashamed to enjoy. Now I can set new goals for myself - being a good teacher, getting involved at school, buying a house, getting (yikes!) married. I really feel like I can do almost anything I set my mind to at this point.

I've had a wild couple of days ranging from drunken Russian dinners to yesterday, wherein I went all over San Diego (NSEW - all of it) and didn't get home until 6:30 in the morning. It was an adventure worthy of Abencio himself.

Recently finished Catcher in the Rye, and as an English major, I'm sorry to say I did not like it. I mean, it was a very well constructed psychological novel charting the main character's mental breakdown, but he was so unlikeable. He mostly whined the whole novel long. I guess it's supposed to be a great book because it showcases the cynical point of view which doesn't really get much exposure in literature, but I just thought it was fucking annoying.

Speaking of annoying, I found out I'll be teaching FRESHMEN. Good times there. We'll have to see if I can whip the little... **** into shape. Peace.

posted by MAtt D. at 3:08 PM

 
Big big big big news for those of you who haven't already heard it - I have been hired on as a full time teacher at a high school down here. It's an English teacher position, don't know what grade yet, but school starts on August 23rd so I'm getting pretty nervous about the whole thing.

As excited as I am about this whole teaching position, I have to admit my summer has been realy weird for me mentally... I've gone through long periods of melancholy and long periods f celebration and am having a rough time finding a middle. I'm coming off the end of one of my moody streaks. Honestly, even though I have two roommates and a girlfriend, I think I've just been really lonely. Sounds stupid, but now that college is over and done, my close friends have all moved away, and I haven't really seen the Reds all summer long. The people who know me best are in short supply right now. (Other than Alli.) Anyway, if you're one of my close friends who reads this - I miss you guys. And not in a gay way either.

posted by MAtt D. at 11:02 AM