supersecret underground blogcave

Post-Wedding Blog

2006-07-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

This will have to be brief as Alli and I are practically out the door to the honeymoon. (I'll post this on MySpace once they fix their login problems.) First and foremost THANK YOU to EVERYONE for making our wedding SO fantastic. We love all our friends from all walks of our lives (home, college, work, family) and I think that having you all in one place helped us to realize that no matter where we are, we are damn good at choosing fun, energetic and caring friends. Thank you all so much for making this the most fun wedding that I've ever been to, and I'm not just saying that because I was the groom.

And the wedding scrapbook/guestbook turned out HILARIOUS. You'll have to come visit us to check it out! (We're a "family" now!)

Speaking of photos, I know you all took tons of great ones. Email them our way at matthewd@gmail.com . We love you all and thanks for making our wedding the greatest night of our lives!!!

element 17

2006-03-09T19:55:00.000-08:00

I love element 17

Think back to your glory days. High school, college, whatever they were - there was one thing that made you feel alive, that made you feel like you were whole, complete - that one thing that made the rest of the world go away. This sounds cheesy the way I'm describing it, but really, it's so true, isn't it? Maybe it's walking out on the soccer field, the smell of grass and mud hitting your nose, the feeling of the shinguards strapped to your legs, the tensing in your legs right before the whistle blows... or maybe it's the stage where you stand with your closest friends and the music hits and while it was work while you were practicing, now the motions come completely naturally and together, as a troupe you move in sync. I could go on, but odds are, not that many people even bother reading my crap.

I recently got a membership to 24 Hour Fitness Sport. It costs a little extra, but I wanted the Sport membership because Sport gyms have a... say it with me... lap pool. Now, joining a gym is one of the last things I really had any interest in. I HATE gyms. I'm not a big guy. I'm not a particularly brawny guy. And I find lifting weights to be really boring. So, when I actually do decide to use the weights, and I saunter past all the machines, grab the freeweights, and lay on the bench to do my flys and presses with the 25 pounders right next to both a) the GINORMOUS dudebro powercurling the 375 pounders and b) the soccer mom using the exact same weight as me, it's a little humbling. I hate being humbled.

But the pool! Ah the pool... who uses the pool at gyms? Old people with joint problems. When I swim there, I pass everyone. It's a real self esteem booster, if you don't take into account the fact that the guy in the lane next to me has ear hair older than me. It's great. I never have to share a lane, either. I went out and bought all the swimming accoutrements like a pull buoy and a kickboard, and I can just see it when people come in and see my pile of stuff at the end of the lane - that look that says, "aw crap, this guy's really serious about this stuff. I do NOT want to swim with him." Not only are they good for me, but they keep me isolated from the old people!

On top of the health benefits, there are all the psychic benefits as well. The smell of chlorine that soaks into my skin. The ragged, frizzed feeling of my hair. The red circles around my eyes from the goggles. That all-over, total body exhaustion that comes from a good swim. It's probably one of the greatest feelings of nostalgia ever.

Uh, I don't know how to end this blog...

my shackle

2006-03-06T20:01:00.000-08:00

my shackle

we bought our wedding bands on saturday. check it, homies:

Tungsten with a bronze gold band running through it. Untraditional, and yet, not lame looking. Plus Tungsten will never scratch or dull. This ring will be around forever....

Just like our love! ::fart noise:: ::blatantly steals from Aaron::

Don'tcha wish your relationship is perfect like mine?

2006-03-04T11:24:00.000-08:00

Don'tcha wish your relationship is perfect like mine?

Don'tcha? Well, because I'm kinda PW'ed and I actually like these pics a lot, here are the photos from our engagement session, which included a professional photgrapher snapping us from all angles while we acted "natural."

In this first pic, Alli was carrying her shoes and purse in her hand. She said it would have been perfect if not for that, so I used my mad photoshop skillz. What what!

Nothing like straddling and uncomfortable rock to say "romance." Also... take no notice of my neck fat.

I can't believe he got this one! This is totally candid. I mean, we were just frolicking in the surf fully clothed at sunset as usual, and our photog just happened to catch us! What a crazy coincedence!

Ora le guey! Que onda? Chu lookin' at my heina, guey? Es muy bonita, no? If che were a beer, che'd be la heina mas fina.

You know, this photo was originally HUGE before I resized it... it was a whole lotta face. But I realized something. I have gorgeous eyes and Alli is a very lucky woman to have a stud like me around.

Okay, I have no snarky remarks for this one... it's... yeah. I dig it.

And this last one is one that Alli will hate me putting up... so here it goes. This is a real candid moment. This is a common, everyday moment in our relationship, regardless of the setting. If you ever wondered what it was like to be Matt and Alli (which you probably didn't) this photo says it. Seriously. Although, again, ignore the neck fat.

If anyone was wondering, these photos were taken on Coronado Island, out behind the Hotel Del Coronado by Greg Bluffin of Got the Shot photography, our wedding photgraphers.

brief rants

2006-02-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

hey say it's the little things that make life worth living. They also say the devil's in the details. Here's a short, whiny list of little things that have been bothering me lately.

- Starbucks must have it in their training manual to completely disregard the phrase "room for cream." Every time, every store I go in I ask for the same thing, and when they hand it back to me there's not enough room for me to spit in the cup without it overflowing. I could hand it back to them to pour some off, but then they pour too much, or I could dump a little of it in the trash, but that just seems rude to make them haul a big, gross, coffee filled trashbag. As a former trashbag hauler, I have some sympathy there. But it's gotten to the point where I have to hold my arms out to the sides like I'm telling them about a trout I caught or I'm pretending to be Jesus.

- Whole Foods is a great store. I love it because it has all kinds of cool gourmet food I wouldn't be able to find anywhere else except Trader Joe's, or Henry's... but I still like Whole Foods better. Except for the people who shop there. Bunch of aging hippies so wrapped up in their organic food self image that NO ONE watches where they're going. I've been backed into, walked into, nearly ran over, bumped into, and all around molested by my fellow customers every time I go there for something.

- I realize that the above two posts, about Starbucks and Whole Foods make me look really yuppie-ish. I'm okay with that.

- I really miss swimming. I love running, but it's getting to the point where I have to ice my knees and shins every time I go out... but swimming. Well, that's a post in and of itself.

- It shouldn't bother me because they're just crazy teenage kids figuring out what they want in life, but there are WAY too many "scene" type kids with hair-in-the-face emo haircuts in my classes and at my school. Ooh, your jeans taper at the ankle? When did it become OK to start wearing the kind of jeans my mother wore when I was growing up? Hah, my mom was scene before scene was scene.... what?

- What's the deal with airplane food?

I think I'm turning japanese

2006-02-12T10:28:00.000-08:00

I think that by and large, people's major hobbies and interests are ruled by which of their five senses they favor. You know, people who are very auditory will probably have huge music collections and often condescend to people because they listen to stuff you haven't even heard of yet, more highly visual people might flock to art - photography, painting, etc. and more tactile people might lean toward sports or other bodily endeavors. Myself, I've always kinda been a gustatory person. Food man, I love it. I love to make it, I love to eat it, I love to watch TV about it. And I've always prided myself on being one of those people who will try anything (and like our musically-inclined snobs, treat those plain-food eaters with haughty disdain). But there's always been one food that I have steered clear from, one food that, I'll admit, I was terrified by. Sushi.

When other people talked about sushi and how good it was, I had to rationalize it as a defect in THEM, not me, because I'm a food guy. Raw fish? Gross. I worked at Sea World for a summer, and I can tell you, raw fish is what we served to the animals. (I realize there are a lot of arguements that invalidate this point, but when you rationalize things for yourself, you tend to ignore logic.) Well, anyway after having Alli be after me about sushi for a while, I finally sacked up and went for it. We went to a sushi bar in Hillcrest - the Gay/International Food district (don't ask me how that works out... I have no clue how the owners of the Afghani or Indian restaurants deal with all the evil homosexual infidels that constantly flow through their tables...) Anyway, the restaurant was tastefully named "Nami" and prominently featured a large wave on the sign above it (Short for "tsunami" which I wonder if that didn't have anything to do with how empty it was in there...)

Yeah, I liked it. Yes, it was very good. Hell, I even got pretty good with chopsticks, which I regard as the most ridiculous and retarded way to eat food. (But MAtt, it's elegant! it's artful! It's goddamn frustrating. Gimme my fork and stabby-stabby!) I was expecting slimy, fishy... grossness. Instead I got firm, smoky goodness. Couple of things though - I definitely liked the nigiri (raw fish stacked on top of a ball of rice) better than the rolls. Something about seaweed that just doesn't do it for me. In the long run, it was good, and pretty cheap. I'm also stoked that I picked up new knowledge along the way, because pert of my fear was not knowing how to order. Now I can walk into most sushi bars with an idea of what I'd like.

Yes, I really just wrote a blog this long about sushi.

thus ends my 24th year

2006-01-15T09:27:00.000-08:00

So, I turned 24 today. At 1:37 AM this morning I have officially been on this earth for a full 24 years. Uh, not counting my gestation period, I suppose.

24 will be a big year for me, and my life will continue to progress toward one seeming more and more like that of an adult. In one year...

By the time I'm 25

Most obviously, I'll be a husband.
I'll be tenured (a big deal for teachers).
I'll have celebrated my younger brother's 21st birthday (he's so grown up!)
I'll have spent my first christmas entirely away from my family.
I'll have drug Alli through the Daugherty Dual-Thanksgiving.
My mom will most likely move out of Redlands.
Friends will graduate, will get jobs, will move on, and most likely, be even harder to keep in touch with.

You know, forget New Year's Resolutions. They don't mean anything because New Year's is a holiday, a celebration for everyone, and they're thought of because everyone is doing it. That's why they tend to be generic things like weight loss or being more organized (both of which were mine). But birthdays... ah, birthdays make you introspective. So I'm going to make a birthday resolution right now. I resolve to work harder to maintain those relationships that mean the most to me. I've gotten lazy because I live with Alli, don't have to work at that one, and for everyone else, I let the internet do my work for me... holy crap... I'm teaching Fahrenheit 451 to my 10th graders, and in it technology has made people lazy and impersonal... Fine, now it's more than a resolution, it's my duty to make sure this horrible, dystopic future never comes about!

Seriously, to all my friends, those who read this, and those who will never see it - Thanks for everything.

my dirty little secrets

2005-12-22T07:23:00.000-08:00

Inspired by sites like grouphug and PostSecret, I thought I air a little dirty laundry of my own:

Dirty Little Secrets

I kinda like Kelly Clarkson's music.
Sometimes I'm jealous of the amount of attention she gives the cat instead of me.
I think that I'm kind of an asshole a lot of the time and I wish I could change, but I don't have the strength.
I'm actually quite insecure about the way I look.
I can spend an entire day not seeing or talking to another human, and most of the time I almost like that better.
I don't have the guts to post any real secrets.

just what the world needed

2005-12-17T13:33:00.000-08:00

So... Alli and I were at the mall yesterday and we come upon thie store where the storefront has had massive cosmetic construction to make it look like an old brick apartment building, I'm guessing a la New York City. You walk inside and are immediatly greeted by a douchebag. Y'know the "collar up" type. Then the whole place is laid out in little rooms... like a lot of them... as though were it a penthouse apartment or something. And the whole time, loud, obnoxious, pretentious, techno-club type music is blaring. And each little room comes equipped with its own douchebag. The place is so done up that you have the think "is this a parody?" I mean, if you threw in Dieter from Sprockets, the illusion would be complete. Needless to say, Alli and I wandered patiently through each of the little rooms, and the whole time I'm getting more an more uncomfortable because I was dressed, let's face it, a little white-trashy, and I'm getting these looks from both the employee and the customer douchebags. Anyway, we scoot outta there without buying any $30 t-shirts and feeling a little off-put by the whole store in general... I went home and looked it up, turns out it's yet another head of the hideous Abercrombie and Fitch hydra.

What amazes me is not that they market their product as "You too can be a pretentious douchebag," but that SO MANY people buy it. And the really obvious "We're SO FUCKING EAST COAST OLD SCHOOL" vibe they try and put off only confirms a thought I've had for a long time: people from New York City are assholes. But that's a rant for another time. If you're curious about being a pretentious douchebag and want to see what I'm talking about, it's called Ruehl.

I can't judge too harshly, I suppose. It's my bad for dressing like I'm still 18 when I go out in public because it's more comfortable. I went into Nordstrom's to buy shoes on the same trip and well, my internal monologue went something like this: Hell, I'm a professional educator. PROFESSIONAL. The guys working at Nordstrom's are sales clerks. I don't deserve to be ignored, watched like a hawk, or scoffed at by these dudes... But how were they to have known? I was dressed like as soon as I was done I was going to go 'froading with some of my bros and crack a case of Coors Light. Catch-22 I suppose.

I have no conclusion so I merely take a little bow and exit stage left.

regrets

2005-12-14T21:05:00.000-08:00

you do too fucking regret it

On a lot of these surveys that get bulletinned (if there be such a word, arr) or that people put in their profile there is always a question like "Have you ever done anything you regret?" And invariably, 90% of all people put something along the lines of how you shouldn't regret shit, or you should just learn from stuff, never regret it blah blah blah... What this really translates to is "I'm so hardcore and self-confident that I NEVER make decisions I regret." Try not to throw your back out from flexing your nuts so hard ok?

Seriously, who doesn't regret stuff? Androids, that's who. Androids and sociopaths. The whole idea that you should never regret anything you do is just ludicrous. Let's take a learning experience for example, shall we? You accidentally burn yourself on something. You LEARN to pay more attention to your surroundings, but as it throbs and stings you sure as shit wish you hadn't. That's REGRET, an emotion that most normal humans wrestle with.

It goes beyond the internet, too. I GUARANDAMNTEE that if you went through a high school yearbook looking at senior quotes, you'd find at least one kid with something along the lines of "no regrets." Fuck man, there's a kid I'd NEVER want to be friends with, because he sounds like the type of asshole who could never feel bad for anything they've done. "Hey, do you regret killing that toddler?" "No man, I never regret anything, I just look for the learning experience." Personally, I regret TONS of shit, especially throughout high school. And it's the pain of that regret that keeps me from repeating the same mistakes.

Redlands Rockin Ramadan 5 - Random and Ridiculous

2005-11-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

With the wizardry of HTML, I've put all my photos into thumbnail form below, even the crappy ones. First, a few words of warning:

They may load slow because I'm too lazy to resize and rehost each photo in a smaller version. You want it so bad, you do it.
I kept trying to get pictures of people on the dance floor, and that little flamer dude kept getting in the shot. That's why there are a lot of him dancing right in front of Drandy.
I also kept trying to get a pic of Justin and Bri dancing, but my camera chose to be a douche at that moment and by the time the pic was took, they were just plain making out. I'm really not THAT huge a perv.
The last 8 or so of these I don't remember taking. Means it was a good night.
There is no actual Justin testicle, just simulated jellyfish Justin testicle beer penis.

re-Redlands-ified

2005-11-23T16:00:00.000-08:00

So, when I rolled into town this morning at about 10:30, it appeared I was locked out of my house. So while I waited for my dad to call me or anyone for that matter (side note: does everyone use their cellphones as paperweights or what? I know it's unrealistic of me to expect people to answer it every time it rings, but after 5 different people, you get a little frustrated) I instinctively went to State St. to wait. I don't know why, but I've been away from Redlands for so long, that it was almost as though I had to tap back into my Redlands-ness.

I walked up and down State St., I browsed ComicQuest, I looked at the restaurants, I even went down to the mall. Therein lies the truly depressing bit of Redlandsness. Closed stores, really awful white trash "Chopper Gear" store, a scene kid store... Hot Dog on a Stick is still there, like some gaudy sentinel of bad health. You know, there are a lot of closed shops on State St. too. I don't really have a point to this, it was more a sentimental trip down memory lane that evoked no sentiment other than, "Damn, this is depressing."

I other news,I tripped while trail running yesterday, skinned my knee real bad. Remember how when you were a little kid and you'd get a scrape and your parents would blow on it to make it feel better? What a God-awful sadistic thing that is. I tried blowing on it right after I went down (dirty...) and it just lit up with the pain of a thousand needles. Honestly, who scrapes their knee after the age of five? What the hell?

Question!

2005-11-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

Question!

I kinda have a story idea, but I would like a little help. Simply answer this question - how would you answer if offered immortality, and why?

sick sad irony

2005-11-15T17:39:00.000-08:00

funny thought. I had one of those rubber bracelets that you wear to support a cause, in this case, eating disorder awareness. Well, as I was taking it off today, it broke. The rubber was too thin.

Frivolous Expenditure

2005-11-03T16:41:00.000-08:00

But it's so huge! 3 liters of beer... mmmmgargle.
Afterthought... from looking at my face, you can totally tell I've been sampling my new prized possession.

I twirled!

2005-10-30T18:28:00.000-08:00

You ever been just messing around while you're home alone and you do something totally awesome? You have two major thoughts at that moment - 1) Holy Shit! I did it, and there's no one around to see! and 2)Well, I'll never be able to replicate that again. Well, thanks to the miracle of the internet, I can at least tell the whole world (read: the three people who read this blog) about it:

I fucking twirled, dude.

Alright, that sounds a little "eh" to some so here's what I'm talking about: Alli's at the gym, and I'm getting dinner ready. For those who don't know, I LOVE to cook. I'm making calzones, so I need to prepare pizza dough. Long story short - those guy who throw the dough in the air and make it twirl around in order to stretch it out? Yeah, I did that. I did that home alone with no one but the cat around, and her useless ass was sleeping, so she didn't even see the awesomeness of Chef Matt throwing his dough... Is it lame to be this excited about this kind of thing? Ah, who cares, I still fucking rule for it.

unthought guttural reactions

2005-10-26T21:32:00.000-07:00

So, most of the time, I have a basic, irrational (by which I mean the forces of logic and reason are not applied, not stupid) reaction to everything I encounter. I of course, have a little dialogue in my head that filters these reactions, forces me to examine the reasons behind them, and change my viewpoint to a much more toned-down and sensible one. Well, I decided to remove the filter and let some of these reactions loose. Some might seem stupid or offensive, but that's why I filter. That's why everyone filters. So...Pointless Guttural Reactions to the World
without self-examination

You are not Bettie Page. You are not Bam Margera. You are not a vampire. You are not a character in an anime. I need to spend less time on myspace.

I heard SDSU called "still drunk, still undeclared" the other day. I thought it was really funny because I don't really know anyone who went there that's graduated in under 5 years and it was our basketball rival at USD, so I feel inclined to dislike it, though I never really followed our basketball team...

I feel like I have the unalienable right to drive 85+ on the freeway and if you don't get out of my way, I have the unalienable right to tailgate you.

I don't believe in popular "manly" stereotypes like following sporta or talking about cars, but I do believe in ones that are equally as arbitrary such as if you don't like dark, hoppy beer you aren't a real man, or if you prefer sweet mixed drinks to whiskey...

Chicks who smoke look like skanks to me. For some reason, I see a young woman puffing away and automatically think, "bet she'd rather be puffing away at some dick." On the same note, I naturally assume the same thing about girls who dye the underlayer of their hair jet-black and the outer layer platinum blonde.

I still hate kids who "try to be weird." Just because you dyed yourself 7 different colors does not make you an interesting person.

Wow. It's like primal scream therapy or something.

potshots at Comic-Con

2005-10-22T12:17:00.000-07:00

How in the hell did I get engaged? I spent the morning catching up on dorky webcomics that I used to read in college. No joke. I would spend like, hours reading webcomics in college. I spent a lot of hours on dorky dorky things. I am completely amazed that an actual woman found me suitable for lifelong partnership sometimes.

In other wedding news... we just made the painful discovery that Comic-Con is the same weekend as the wedding. FUCK! If you're going to need a hotel room I'd start booking it NOW, because the rest of the rooms in San Diego are going to be occupied by man-virgins dressed as Wolverine having lightsaber fights and arguing whether or not Kevin Smith is better as a screenwriter or comic scribe. And because we'll be partying it up late into the night possibly even after the reception, I'll expect that everyone will need a hotel room.

What's that dear? Oh... apparently Alli and I (read: Alli) are supposed to decide on one hotel to put all the guests so they can be all together. Well, hopefully we'll find one that's not full up with unshaven Xbox addicts with large stashes of InuYasha porn. I'll keep you posted.

WCW fiesta

2005-10-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

This Is Just To Say

I have rediscovered
Williams' poetry
in an old
college textbook

and which
many of you
could
care less

Forgive me
its just so
simply phrased
and so genius.

the post that never was

2005-10-16T15:47:00.000-07:00

I had a post all typed up and then lost it. Bummer. In other news, I once again fit into size 32 pants, something that hasn't happened since junior year of high school. My diet and exercise program kicks your program's ass.

ripped off and enraged

2005-09-19T08:45:00.000-07:00

soooo.... that new house Alli and I moved into about two weeks or so ago? Burglarized this last weekend. Sunday, as a matter of fact, in the two hour timespan we were at the mall. Person pops the screen off one of our windows, slides the dowel out of position (too hard to explain on the blog... I need like, visual aids and shit), comes in through the window, crosses the living room into the kitchen, takes Alli's laptop off the kitchen table, but leaves my iPod, my checkbook, her checkbook, and everything else over there, crosses back to the window, where the power cable for the laptop is, unplugs it, takes it as well, exits through the same window (we can only assume), and proceeds to put the screen back in... as though nothing were touched. Like we wouldn't notice the $1500 laptop missing.

The whole thing is frightening for a myriad of reasons. 1) Someone was in our house while we weren't and we don't know who. 2) Someone had to have been watching us to see when we left, otherwise who robs a house on a Sunday afternoon, especially when there's only a two-hour window at best? 3)They ignored everything else. What kind of burglar see tons of important shit lying around (including Alli's passport) and ONLY takes the laptop? Lucky for us, Alli is Ms. Finance and was on top of all Identity-thefty type things in a flash. And our landlords are super-awesome guys and they were on top of it in no time, beefing up all our gates with locks and beware of dog signs and getting us stronger window security. So the only thing left is the loss of the property. I'm so frustrated because we chose the place based on its seclusion and seeming security.

Anyway, if anyone's ever on eBay or craigslist for the San Diego area, it's a Dell Inspiron 6000. It DOES NOT have a Celeron, it's got something else that I can't think of right now. Also, we had loaded it with Microsoft Office, Student and Teacher Edition. Thanks.

movin' on

2005-09-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't had internet for three days because this three day weekend I was moving! Alli and I finally moved in together and it feels like a ran a marathon this weekend. Well, maybe not that bad, but I can't say I got a hell of a lot of rest. All I know is I'm not moving til she and I have enough money to hire a moving company to do it for us.

It doesn't feel like we're living together just yet. It still has that "staying together at a hotel" feel. It's very weird to think that there will never be a "my room" for me again. Coming from four years in the dorms and a condo I shared with two other guys, "my room" was a very important concept - my place to get away, get quiet, to focus, to be alone if I needed, to chill out and unwind. No more, forever more it shall be "our room." Crazy. We made dinner last night and ate at our big table in our dining room. We did our laundry jointly last night. We are the picture of domesticity. It's still so curious to me... like it's not quite my life just yet, like I'm in a TV show or movie. Any way, just a small picture of life in these big picture days.

Apparently Alli's company has a policy that if an employee donates to one of a certain charities, they'll match the donation, so I think that's where we'll wind up giving for Katrina Relief.

hurricarana

2005-09-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

I was listening to Air America last night, and on his show I thought Jerry Springer made a great point. (Yes, he's a liberal talk radio host now. The tagline for the show is, "Swearing to use his powers only for good now!") He pointed out that there is all this horrifying news footage of people on rooftops, trapped without food, water, or medicine. His question was this - if there are helicopters that can get close enough to film these people and get the audio of their cries, aren't they close enough to rescue them? or at least drop water bottles? Honestly, where does journalistic detachment end and being a compassionate human being begin?

pres fucks us again

2005-09-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

Anyone hear the president tell us to go fuck ourselves yesterday? Well, that might not have been exactly what he said, but it's sure what I heard. He was addressing the nation about the hurricane and this is an actual quote from that speech:

"The Environmental Protection Agency has granted a nationwide waiver for fuel blends to make more gasoline and diesel fuel available throughout the country.

This will help take some pressure off of gas prices, but our citizens must understand this storm has disrupted the capacity to make gasoline and distribute gasoline"

What this breaks down to is "I'm loosening the pollution regulations that make life hard for my good ol' boy buddies in the oil industry, and stop whining about the high price of gas, because that's how it's gonna be, bitches." Understand this: gas prices need not spike because of the hurricane. He could declare a state of emergency, thereby outlawing profiteering, which is what the oil companies are doing. He has ways of reducing the RIDICULOUS price of gas, but he won't. He is using this horrible disaster to make life easier for the rich oil moguls. For someone who loves America so much, he sure seems to hate the average American.

judging books

2005-08-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking about the old expression "Don't judge a book by its cover." I was thinking about this because I have a couple of... whatever the fuck they are nowadays kids. "Scenester" is the closest thing I can think of. I'm pretty sure it's not really indie or emo, and goth is like WAY out. Guys who wear girls' jeans as tight as they can get them and then brush their hair over into their faces and wear ironically brand-new Ramones t-shirts... kids who think the Used is the second coming of Christ... the current crop of conformity decriers. (Don't get me wrong, I'm all for individuality, but as Hamlet said, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks.") Anyway, book, cover, no judgey... But I got to thinking, I'm an avid reader and frequenter of bookstores. My major was based on books and the reading thereof. I think I'm decently qualified to make some generalizations about books to see how this metaphor holds up.

Classics, books that have sold a lot of copies over their existence, beloved books, books with the most interesting things to say are most often those with the simplest covers, usually ranging in meager attire from plain leatherbound to a painting or artistic rendering. Something understated, yet classy, usually. I mean there are books with eccentric covers, like The Unbearable Lightness of Being's floating hat, but nothing outrageous. Now let us consider the books with the flashy covers, the bright neon and the bizarre cover decorations... these are usually the beach reads, the horror for horror's sake novels, the young adult books... books with not a lot to say, books that have to do something other than just be themselves to draw a reader in... am I still talking about books here?

All I'm saying is that it seems to me that when a product isn't enough just being itself to sell it, that's when you have to dress up the packaging. The non-natural hair color, the outrageous (!) piercings (whatever), the socially inappropriate tattoos, the outlandish dress... and I can't fault my teen students for behaving this way, because they're newly minted people, and just experiencing peoplehood. The haven't accrued enough knowledge and experience (for the most part) to sell themselves as they are. But the real problem comes when older people, people my age and up continue to act this way. God, when I go downtown I see it all the time. When I go to parties I see it. When I go on crazy road trips with Ben I see it. I have always had a certain unjustifiable disdain for those people, and now I think I understand it. (My disdain, not their bizarre compulsion to be bizarre.)

moving parts

2005-08-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT - I am moving in with Alli. We got a fucking amazing place in University Heights in San Diego. You can check it out at your leisure. But only if you pronounce it "leh-zhure," like some poncey brit wanker. In all seriatude, it's a guest house behind this real house, apartment over the garage. it's 1000 square feet, brand new floors (dark cherry hardwood) with a washer and drier on-site and a dishwasher and a gigantic bathroom. Two bedrooms as well, so we'll have an office/guest bedroom. So... who wants to make a weekend trip to SD? I've got a guest room! Well, not yet. I'm not moving in 'til Labor Day weekend. Anybody want to help lug shit? Did I mention we get a two car garage? This is the most perfect rental on the face of the planet EVER.

fuckinghategeorgewbush

2005-08-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

So, being that I'm back in the saddle for drive-time talk radio, I was listening today and heard reference to an article entitled "How Bush Thinks: Intuition Over Intellect." Here's the link. I know, it's an op-ed piece, and therefore certainly not Gospel, but one man's opinion. But this man, Jonathan Chait, makes some good points. The bottom line is that our Butthead-in-chief consistantly forgoes reason in favor of how he feels. Even when faced with hard, irrefutable facts, he still goes with his gut. Look, I often bemoan pure reason's inability to reconcile the phenomona of faith and the necessity for faith in our inexplicable world. BUT when you have stuff that IS explicable, stuff that there IS hard evidence for and you still insist... argh. I realize that this puts my faith in jeopardy, because if anyone brought me hard evidence of the non-existance of God, then I would either have to accept it, or take the George W. route and just go with how I feel... But the things that Bush is presented with in the Times article aren't things like the existance of a higher power, they're things like this guy did or didn't do steroids or the fact that he did or didn't oppose children's healthcare. He lets his feelings dictate his grasp of reality past, present, and future. And this is why we went into Iraq without strong reason, and this is why despite whatever he said about firing whoever outed CIA deep-cover operative it's not going to happen because it's one of his closest friends that outed her. I guess the fact that he follows his feelings entirely and ignores reason and logic isn't as disconcerting as the fact that his feelings never change. He always feels like he's right. There's no learning going on there. No change occurs, he just goes on grinning and allowing people to die at home and abroad. The 'W' stands for 'Widowmaker.'

myspace is educational

2005-07-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

For as much of my time as it's wasted, MySpace is remarkably educational. I've learned so much since joining MySpace. I've learned, for example, that there are way too many people out there with nothing to do. I've learned that Southern Single Mothers find me attractive. I've learned that while I've never listened to a full album by either The Used or My Chemical Romance I don't want to. That and I'm not exactly sure that they are two different bands... I've learned we have to assemble a task force of elite snipers to take out Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears, because the number of teen girls who list them as "heroes" is frightening. Seriously, we have no better strong female role models than an amateur porn star, a drunken anorexic, and a pop-turned-trailer diva? I've learned that witty or ironic headlines have reached their saturation point and thinking "Insert witty or ironic headline" is either of those things is just cliche. I've learned that editing the HTML should be a privelege and not a right. And I've learned that nothing pisses me off more than those little streaming videos, and how somehow they can play over my iTunes.

That's about it.

weddin's

2005-07-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

I went to the wedding of a co-worker last night, interestingly enough exactly 1 year before my wedding (JULY 22, 2006 - DO NOT FORGET OR I WILL EAT YOUR SPLEEN WITH LIMA BEANS AND A NICE CABERNET). It was so much fun; it was just a day to be happy. There was no reason to be sad. I didn't know barely anyone there, with the exception of Alli and my few other co-workers who were invited, but I still had an awesome time. I mean really, how many truly happy days are there - days just devoted to happiness and, dare I say, mirth?

I had such a good time that I'm really really looking forward to my own wedding (DO NOT FORGET, YOU BASTARDS) and I hope everyone else can anticipate it that way too. Not because it's a special day for me, but because it's another chance to get together as friends and just be happy. Alli and I are trying to plan this so everyone will have a great time and enjoy themselves wholly.

All in all, my wedding is now 364 days away. I'm excited. Hope you are too, because it's going to be a good time. I just know it.

rove go down please

2005-07-14T17:57:00.000-07:00

Karl Rove is Bush's senior political advisor. He leaked the name of a CIA deep-cover operative, as well as the name of a CIA front corporation. It basically invalidated a decade plus of connections and networks. If you watch Alias, you know how this works. If you don't know what I'm talking about read here, but read carefully. The mainstream media won't cover it. Or they'll slant it to make it seem like it's no big deal. Hopefully this will be the nail in the coffin of the neocons. Here's hoping freedom finds its way back to American government.

couple thoughts

2005-07-13T23:23:00.000-07:00

couple random thoughts blipping across my brainpan:

I hate hate hate people who pronounce it "volumptuous" with an "M" in there. It just sounds retarded.

Sydney Bristow is like, the worst secret agent ever. Seriously, her cover gets blown every mission she goes on. They should kill her off and just have a show called "Jack Bristow: Ultimate Ass-Kicking Secret Agent."

I finally got the point of Clerks today. I wasn't even watching the damn thing. For years I've been laughing at all the dick and fart jokes, but missed one of the major themes. "Shit or get off the pot." Do something, or stop complaining. Take action. Take command over your life, stop bitching about it.

Going to Vegas this weekend. I'm rolling it welfare style, with a ton of PB&Js, Cup O'Noodles, and Granola Bars. I'm even bringing a hotpot. That's because my budget for the whole trip is $200. Let's see how far I can make that shit stretch. Hopefully this time, we WON'T get robbed by hookers.

Happy Birthday Alli

2005-07-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

Twenty-three years ago, the most important person since Jesus was born. Well, that may be stretching it a bit, she's certainly effected my life powerfully:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLI!

I love you!

wasting time

2005-07-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

How the hell do I wind up wasting so much time on (as Joe calls it) GaySpace? Seriously, it's not as though I'm DOING anything, but strangely enough I waste ungodly amounts of time looking at my friends, my friends' friends, and their friends... and then the comments of my friends' friends' friends... God help me if the page has more pictures because I'm going to spend time looking at all the ones that have comments... I swear, I thought I was a more productive person than this. I'm not angry at me, just... disappointed. Now go to my room.

Just for fun

2005-06-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

Just for fun, comment with songs you think would be fun/funny to hear at the wedding reception. Imagine drunken older people listening as well. Imagine dancing. Imagine funny, awkward social situations. More points to those who are creative. GO!

try as I might

2005-06-22T22:55:00.000-07:00

I've tried to blog several times in the past few days I've been off. Some of the blog entries I've aborted in that time:

Fun new prejudices - a "humorous" entry I didn't find all that humorous in the end. Still, goddamn uncircumsized freaks.
A portrait of myself, 30 years hence - not nearly as deep or introspective as I had hoped.
A paean to San Diego - It seemed kinda fruitless. Those who live hear know what's good about it, those who don't, don't seem to care.
Things to do in Denver when you're dead - turns out it's already been done. Huh. Who knew.

But for every blog I get rid of, I have other ways of keeping busy. Some of the things I've been doing in my spare time...

Lots of cooking - Carnitas, Tortilla Soup, Fajitas... okay, not the most complex food in the world, but it's been good.
I baked cookies today. I also had my nuts removed and put into the cookies.
Working out - I've somehow managed to overcome my irrational fear of lifting weights. Basically it's like being in jail; I get bored and I work out.
Growing a beard - yes, again. I'm really freakin' bored. I have to shave it by Alli's birthday.
Avoiding planning for next school year - I daily glance at my teacher's editions and sigh, knowing that I refuse to take action that could only be to my benefit.

I'd like to close with something I've discovered on my time off, these grueling, soul-searching two-weeks - Sprinkle generous salt and pepper on a chicken breast, coat with olive oil, and grill until it's golden brown and delicious. You won't ever find a better piece of chicken.

updated wedding

2005-06-16T19:48:00.000-07:00

I updated our wedding blog, Guess What? with the recent events. Since I'm on vacation with nothing to do, I might be updating more often, and as things heat up, I'll try to make sure that I'll keep it current. Enjoy.

summer time blues

2005-06-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

My stupid ass, all of second semester: "No, I'm just going to relax. For the first time since I was 13 I'm not going to have a summer job. I'm going to do absolutely nothing, it's gonna be great."

My stupid ass, now: "I wish I would have gotten a summer job... I'm so bored and poor." Really, honestly. I've been on break since last friday, but I wasn't bored then because I was in San Jose partying with the Ruiz family. Now I'm in SD, Alli's back at work, June Gloom is in full effect meaning no beach and I'm starting to lose my mind. It's like what? Tuesday? It hasn't even been a week yet. So far I have successfully burned all the music from my old computer to CD, and my next big "project" will be putting it on iTunes for use in the 'Pod. I also have a lot of laundry to do, but I'm not sure if I'm going to do the ironing today. Sounds like an Old School quote, "We're going to Home Depot..." That's my life people. And because I don't get paid in July, money management is crucial, so I can't afford to do things that would entertain me, like go to the movies, take road trips, or even buy bullets for hobo-hunting. Oh sure, I could take up part-time coyote work, trafficking Mexicans across the border for some spare cash, but the death of my motivation is already starting to sink in. Besides, it might just be easier to put condoms of cocaine in my butt. Uh, for smuggling.

freddie prinze jr I'm not

2005-06-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

Spent the weekend in San Jose with Alli's extended family for her cousin's college graduation. It was a lot of fun. Anyone who gets invited to the wedding, I suggest you make time to be there because her cousins are HOT. And why else would you go to a wedding if not to meet hot girls, right?

I was just thinking, if my life was a romantic comedy I would talk about how happy I was with Alli and how much I love being engaged to her, and then some bitchy hot chick would take it upon herself to prove me wrong and do all sorts of bitchy hot things like being naked near me and stuff like that where I would get to see her boobies, but eventually there would be an awkward situation where Alli would for some reason think I cheated on her but really didn't, and I would spend the next few weeks contained within a 10-minute montage trying to convince her to take me back when eventually the bitchy hot chick would have a change of heart and reveal the misunderstanding to Alli who would take me back without a second thought. But my life isn't a romantic comedy. But I do love me some boobies. Food for thought.

indeed

2005-06-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

Last week of school. All finals all the time. And you better believe I'm making my final a pain in the ass. Revenge is a dish best served cold... with an essay test.

Seriously, what the fuck is up with the black mullet? You know what I'm talking about, when black guys have their hair in cornrows all along their head, and then it trails off into long braids at the back... it's the black mullet and it looks just as lame as the white mullet.

As much as you Republicans dismay me, young female Republicans scare me. Most men have this desire in their mind for women to be caring and nurturing (probably comes from a "mom" thing), and I feel that if the Republican party has shown us anything, it's that they aren't either of those things. Now, I understand older people's deal with conservativism, it's my money I worked for blah blah blah greed blah, but when people are young and idealistic... I don't know. I just don't expect the "fuck the poor" mentality that comes from the right to come out of a woman my age. We were watching the news this weekend (okay it was Best Week Ever) and they were talking about Deep Throat, and this girl I was hanging out with (not Alli, who is thankfully both compassionate and nurturing) says, "I can't believe they're making a hero out of this guy. People went to jail because of him and they're acting like he did a good thing." Yeah, people went to jail. Bad people. People who were attempting to subvert democracy. People who abused their power in order to cut the people out of the process. Needless to say, I was stunned into silence. (Oh sure, I could have channeled the spirit of Abenicio, but Alli was there, and she gets embarassed when I rant, and this seriously cuts down on the amount of nurturing and compassion coming my way.)

Going up to San Jose this weekend, starting on Thursday night. My first weekend of summer break and I'm already taking a trip! See, things are looking up for me.

racists, sadists, morons, our future

2005-05-24T14:47:00.000-07:00

If summer vacation gets here any more slowly, I swear to God I'm going to go crazy... er. I have some awful news for everyone with a favorite teacher in their lives - by the end of the yera, no matter how great a relationship you had with them, no matter how awesome of a student you were, for those last two weeks of school, they HATED YOUR FUCKING GUTS. Everyone I talk to assures me this is the case, and I'm witnessing it firsthand. (By the by, if there's an abnormally aggressive tone to this, it's because I'm writing it through one of the worst headaches I've ever had the displeasure of experiencing. I told my 6th period that it feels like I shrank my scalp in the dryer.)

It's still weird to talk about MY wedding. Right now I'm still excited about it, because it feels like we're just planning a big huge party for all our friends and family. I'm sure once we get closer to the date, things will get more hectic. I hope everyone else is as excited as I am, though.

Last bit o' news, if you can call it that - I'll be in Sweatlands this coming weekend, coming in either Saturday morning or late Friday. I'm going to hate driving, but whatever. It's funny, because I was supposed to go to Alli's cousins' (hot twin cousins) graduation on Saturday in Smell-A, but we sorta decided it might just be easier for me to go directly home so we don't have to address the awkward situation of "where does Matt sleep?" Let's just say our two families have distinctly different outlooks on the bed-sharing issue. Anyway, I'm done being a man, I'm going to go take something for this nasty headache.

I just hate their ugly little faces so much

2005-05-18T16:37:00.000-07:00

Two weeks of school left. If I kill anyone at this point, it'll be justifiable murder. I never thought that staring at the same faces all school year long could be so infuriating. Of course, by and large the problem could be getting to the end and realizing they haven't learned anything. My God.

Some one please buy for me the Season 1 DVD of Scrubs.

People who slow down drastically when passing a CHiPpie who is currently occupied with writing a ticket need to be run off the road, chariot style. Hey, assbag, he's not going to throw down his clipboard, mutter "Mother of God," dash to his car, slide across the hood, jump in and floor it when he's already engaged. (I have other various driving annoyances, but they most stem from those things I can't stand when people do them to me, but in retrospect I do them all the time... like riding a merge lane all the way to the end. I really hate it when people do that, but I do it DAILY.)

Me: So Joe, what are bros? You said you hate bros.
Joe: You know, guys who wear fucking Skin shirts and drive lifted...
Me: Say no more. I know exactly what you mean. Fucking bros.
Interestingly enough, I found out that my brother and his pals refer to the same douchebags as "dudebros."

"Class after class of ugly, ugly children." - Superintendant Chalmers... and Me.

living off my friends success

2005-05-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

So I love to cook. Really, if you consider cooking an art, it's one that I've really shown some talent for, in comparison to my basic drawing skills and my mild to moderate writing ability. Hell, I'd cook for a living if I had my druthers... it's not an easy field to break into, and it takes a lot of time that I don't have yet. Also, it is no small secret that I like beer. So I like to cook, and I like beer... needless to say the thought of brewing my own has crossed my mind occasionally. (Especially since I spend every other friday at a microbrewery.) But that requires expensive equipment I don't exactly have the money for right now. So here's my plan - I'll work, save money, and work on my cooking and brewing. In the meantime, my marketably talented friends will become successful musicians. Then, eventually we can all come back together and start our own microbrew restaurant, wherein I will get to design the menu and craft a hoppy ale and all that good stuff. So let's review: I plan on shamelessly riding th coattails of my more talented pals. So... be prepared, boys.

health

2005-05-08T15:09:00.000-07:00

I ran a race this weekend. 5 miles through downtown San Diego. Finished in about 40:32, which gives me a pace of about 8:06 per mile. That's not too bad, all things considered. Overall, I feel pretty good about it. [EDIT] I just found out how I did. 444 out of 2558. That's like, the top 18%. Awesomeness.[/EDIT]

I mentioned in my last post that I've gone kinda health-crazy this year. I like it. I feel really good and energetic and powerful most of the time. I eat the same salad for lunch every day, with minor variations here and there. I eat about six times a day. I get cardio exercise about every other day. It's weird to eat food that makes you feel good, feel alive. I've always kind of had a little bulge at the bottom of my stomach, but now my stomach is flat and I can see my abs. I feel attractive. My coworkers look at my lunch in horror and think I'm eating some kind of "rabbit food" but I like the way it tastes and I like the way I feel. And I'm not the one getting the secretary's spread on my ass.

[EDIT] Apparently USD finally got around to deleting my account with them, which is the reason for all the heinously ugly "no picture" boxes. I'm looking for some way to remedy this.[/EDIT]

the lost battle

2005-04-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

Took a road trip this Friday up to see my buddy Joe in his debut public performance in his band, Vega. They fucking rocked the house, with Joe front and center on stage. I got drunker than I've been in a quite a while and finally lost a battle that I've been winning for five years (or however long it's been that I've been drinking).

It all started at Stone. I met Ben and Dennis at Stone, and carefully monitored my sampling so that I would be able to successfully make the trip to Palm Desert. From there, Ben and I took off up the 15 to connect with a series of state highways that would take us through butt-fucking nowhere and ultimately to my demise. We stopped in Temecula for a bathroom break. I am accustomed to having an after school snack, and since we had gone right from work, it was about that time. Now, I don't know how much everyone knows, but I've been kind of a health nut lately. Salads for lunch every day, etc., etc. However, they don't necessarily sell veggies at a pit stop on the redneck side of Temecula. What they do sell are Spicier Nacho Doritoes and beef sticks. Apparently homemade beef sticks, since they were sans wrapper, sitting in a little plastic container on the counter marked with a faded orange sticker that forlornly proclaimed "2 for a dollar." My subsequent purchase and consumption of these foods is MISTAKE #1.

We get to PD, rendezvous with Joe, change into suitable garb for rocking! and then went to the local Albertsons for "supplies." I figured a 375ml flask size bottle of Jim Beam should do me just right. But they did not carry that size bottle of Jim Beam. What they did carry was a 375ml flask bottle of Sav-On brand bourbon, and for only FIVE BUCKS! How could I pass up such a deal? This shall be known as MISTAKE #2. (Also, on the way out, I notice small packs of King's Hawaiian rolls for 89 cents. "These would be good to sober me up later," I think to myself.)

On the way to the show, we stop by Circle K and buy a couple of super huge thirst quenching fountain cokes, for the concealment of our booze. Going back to the health nut thing, I NEVER drink soda, so the idea that I was going to drink 32 ounces of sugar syrup infused with cheap boubon? You got it. MISTAKE #3.

Somewhere along the way, apparently of my own volition, I bum a cigarette and smoke it. MISTAKE #4.

I need to call the Lost and Found at the bar because I'm missing a good three hours. I do remember stumbling out to the car, at this point I'm not sure if Joe was ready to leave, if I went out there and they found me later, I just don't know. I do know that I was feeling like maybe I had overdone it by drinking the entire bottle of cheap shit, in addition to the two beers I had in the bar. I remember trying to eat a Hawaiian roll, and not being able to even chew it, so done was I with sweet tastes for the night. Anyhow, on the drive home mind and body are feuding as usual. Normally when this happens with me, Mind wins. I force myself up the hill, no matter how much it burns, I finish my push-ups, and I keep my food in the stomach. This time around, Mind is far to incapacitated to fight back, but Body allows mind the courtesy of being able to say "Joe, I think you should pull over." He does, I stumble out, fall to my knees at the gutter and allow the torrential downpour to begin. Looking back, I don't remember anything about it other than I puked. And it doesn't seem that bad. And in the end, I got enough sense back to brush my teeth before bed.

meloncholy post

2005-04-26T16:54:00.000-07:00

today was the kind of day where I just had to come home and crack open a 22 oz. bottle of Stone from the fridge and drown the flame of irritation with sweet, sweet ale. (fuck yellow beer! huzzah ale!) I've been having this feeling lately of unfulfilledness. Now, this is a feeling entirely independant from my marriage to Alli. As a matter of fact, I can't look forward to anything more than that. I really think we're a "power couple" - we set high goals and we achieve them. We love each other endlessly and to be quite honest, I'm addicted to her. But back to my other feeling of malaise. (I must be careful and be quick for I am in the sway of the Stone already and the typos are more frequent.) I've been in a funk lately, a dark cloud - plagued, beset upon by an unshakable feeling. Now, this is going to sound egotistical in some ways, but roll with me on this, but haven't you ever felt like you were destined for something great? Like, you knew that you were going to be or do something GREAT that would be remembered for all eternity? Be someone like Coleridge or Whitman or Hughes or Shakespeare or Spielberg or Presley? Not that I feel that I'm squandering my life or anything, but I have to say, I imagined more for myself than attempting to drill the idea of metaphor versus simile into some reluctant and relcacitrant teenager's skull. I'm going to be honest with you here, (thanks probably to this potent brew I'm imbibing) I don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life. Here's the main problem - I've always envisioned myself as a great human, someone who really made their mark on the world. I can see this energy in many of my friends. I can see Joe and Ben and Cory and Dave and Jason and Aaron and Jenn and Alli all doing it. For some reason, I can't figure out how or why I would be able to do the same. This is a tempest of the soul I need to get over quickly, lest I become a miserable beast for the remainder of the school year (although, 5 weeks is an entirely doable beast-hood), and as reluctant as they are in the ways of learning, my students don't deserve that.

when I grow up

2005-04-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

Recent journal topic: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Student responses worth noting:
"I wanna be an actor because if you get to be real famous and have a lot of talent to act, you may get to act with some hot ass actris like Jenifer Lopez, Salma, etc... and you also get to kiss them so that's the main reason I wannabe an actor."

"When I grow up I want to have a job. Maybe a lawyer cause of I don't know. Maybe cause it's fun and I can listen to the stupid stuff that people do. If not a lawyer than a judge same stuff."

"I want to be a pyschiatrist when I grow up for adolesents. I like to try and help people and I like to listen to what they have to say. I like helping people with probs like me."

So we have a guy who wants a job that will get him some ass, another student who wants a difficult job that would be fun on the basis that you listen to the stupid stuff people do, and lastly a student who wants to hang out with psychotics all day. One word for all of them - TEACHER. ...uh, except for the getting ass part... I wouldn't know anything about that. *opens drawer to put oversized lollipop away, reveals rags, bottle of chlorophorm, handcuffs, report cards with A's on them, and medicine bottle with the word "Rufies" scratched out and "TicTacs" scrawled underneath*

So, engagement is going well. I've gotten used to referring to Alli as my fiance almost as quickly as I've gotten used to saying "yes, dear. whatever you want." (I think she reads this page, so I better watch where I go with this. I'll be in the doghouse before I ever get my dog.) But hey, you know, we're a chill couple... let's see how we do together forever.

the rock says

2005-04-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already seen it, check out the piece of superdense carbon I used to seal my fate with Alli. BLING BLING Y'ALL!

2005-04-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

Cross-posted to Matt and Alli (remember that one?):

I don't remember meeting Alli. That is to say, I remember very well the first night we met, but how we came to talking is very fuzzy in my memory. I know we talked, danced, and laughed. I remember being fascinated with the idea that she went to an all-girl Catholic high school where they had to wear uniforms, right down to the plaid skirts. I remember being so amazed by it because it was the kind of thing I associated with the past or fiction - surely places like that couldn't exist today could they? But they do, and that's where she came from. I remember it as the first or second night of freshman orientation at school, the night of the harbor cruise - a mixer wherein all the incoming freshmen from certain residence halls were put onto a boat and floated about San Diego Bay in order to get to know one another. There was a dance floor inside and probably horrendously loud music, most likely whatever rap song was popular. I remember laughing with her at all the people who barely knew each other grinding and sweating it up like a Roman orgy on the dance floor. I remember dancing with her at a safe distance, and secretly wishing I could get in closer like the people we were laughing at. I remember being fascinated with her smallness, a trait I still value, cherish, and worship today. I remember talking to her out on the deck and watching San Diego drift by. I gave her my number and my room number on a pad of paper, as I did to every girl that night. I had delusions of becoming a "player" in college, leaving one-night hook-ups in my wake. But I remember that she and I talked longer than any other girl I met that night. Moreover, when we got on the bus to take us back to school, I stopped her in the aisle and told her that she should come visit my dorm room sometime - not in any lascivious way, just a friendly way. I don't know what inspired me to say it to her, but I certainly didn't expect her to take me up on it. At the end of that night, I didn't feel like the slick ladies man I was hoping to be, I felt more dorky, rejected, and lonely than ever before. But she did stop by the next day. We walked up to campus, checked our mailboxes. From there, the friendship grew to what it is. Still, I don't remember meeting her. I just know we talked. I have no memory of being introduced, shaking hands, the panic of remembering someone's name throughout the first conversation with them. I just feel like I've always known her, that she and I have always been talking, dancing, laughing together. And it's that feeling of always having known her that makes me want more than anything in the world to always know her, and that's why on Sunday, April 10, 2005 I asked her to marry me.

coming soon - big news

2005-04-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

THIS IS JUST A WARNING - OVERSIZED SHEEP ON THEIR WAY!!
Oops, that's "big news" not "big ewes coming soon..."

and sorry about the bad punnery.

RIP JP 2

2005-04-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

RIP John Paul II

For those who haven't heard, Pope John Paul II has passed away. Regardless of how you feel about Catholicism or even organized religion in general, you have to admit that it's always a sad thing when someone who has done more good than bad in this world passes away. Let's just leave it at that.

hating the hate

2005-03-29T21:26:00.000-08:00

At the risk of sounding like a complete hippie, there is something I have to get off my chest - I'm getting really tired of the hate. Literally, dealing with hateful people is physically tiring to me. Now, please understand, I am not some humorless granola-munching, hackey-sacking, Birkenstock-wearing freakazoid, the likes of which are parodied so often on King of the Hill. No one loves the un-PC joke as much as I do. I mean if it makes a statement about some group, be they minority or otherwise, I dig it. What I have had a hard time handling, is these days there are just too many people who I can't tell if they are joking. The hate lurking behind their voice makes me uncomfortable that I associate with people like that. I mean, Joe can make all the jokes he likes about... any group really, but in the long run, I know that he doesn't truly look down on the whole of a section of people. But there are people I know who talk about certain groups with such venom on their lips that I question the "joke" quality of their words. It just makes me physically tired to have to "tread lightly" around these people, because the last thing I want to do is set off another of their tirades.

If anyone out there knows the feeling, or understands what the fuck I'm trying to say, drop me a comment. My one concrete example is the gays. Most all my friends make gay jokes, but many of us know gay people, and certainly harbor no ill will toward them. I mean, as far as being a sinner goes, you could do way worse. But then there are those who joke with just a little too much vehemence. The way the word "queer" rolls off their lips with such a sneer that it ruins the joke moment, and you have to step back and evaluate - "whoa, did they really mean that, or were they joking?" But hell, I understand, what with the way gays have been murdering doctors left and right, eating babies, kicking old ladies, flipping off preachers, rioting in the streets of middle America, stabbing puppy dogs, and burning Black churches to the ground.

erectile stuff

2005-03-20T15:15:00.000-08:00

so, the AdSense thing has been working out well. I'm officially 1/10 of the way to getting my first check. Cool. Pimping ain't easy, but whoring sure is. I am working on a way to get better ads. Thanks to all who have clicked so far.

In the random thought/English major humor category, I have decided that my new favorite adjective is "erectile" and that it should be paired with more interesting words than merely "dysfunction." Not that dysfunction isn't an interesting word, but just imagine some of the other possibilities:
erectile malfeasance
erectile malpractice
erectile compunction
erectile remediation
erectile reparation
erectile jubilation
erectile consternation
erectile dismay
erectile appeasement

...and so on and so forth. The sheer joy of imagining these adjective-noun combinations used in a sentence are enough to give me... chills, what else?

sold my soul to google

2005-03-15T20:11:00.000-08:00

so, those of you who are very observant may notice that there are ads in the column to the left of this text. That's because I've sold my soul to google. This is a quick and easy way to make approx $20 a month maybe if people just click on the ads. Sad, but diamond rings ain't cheap. So click, fucker.

Other things on my mind... the Ashlee Simpson show fascinates me strangely. She spends so much of that show attempting to justify her shittihood. "People don't realize how hard this is..." Yes, yes, Ashlee, please tell me how hard your life is, since your Dad got you a record deal and MTV decided to give you a television show based on who your sister is. Yet oddly, I cannot look away.

I don't like the Iron and Wine cover of "Such Great Heights" on the Graden State soundtrack. The rhythym and the lyrics don't match. It's so slow that it puts me to sleep. Just a random thought.

My spring break is next week. I look forward to it with such extreme relish and longing. However I am NOT keeping a countdown on my board as I did with Christmas Break. Nor am I constantly talking about how boy-oh-boy it's coming. I guess I've learned that if the students think you don't want to be there any more than they do, they won't invest anything in the class.

Thanks for reading, comment, and click the ads.

bush and the draft.

2005-03-09T18:54:00.000-08:00

FlyingThruWalls: Homie, read my profile. It contains information you will find interesting. (Profile Contents: Rolling Stone Article
To sum it up, the draft will be of males and females between 18 and 34. They will be mostly drafting medical personnel, linguists, and computer network engineers. They will be prepared to put this plan into motion by the end of March, and the draft could occur as early as June 15, 2005. As our generation is the only one getting screwed, it is likely that the rest of America will sit back and let it happen. If you value your life, join in the protest.)
RangerDogMMD: "They will be mostly drafting medical personnel, linguists, and computer network engineers." Sounds like the HTHers better start sweating
FlyingThruWalls: exactly
RangerDogMMD: frightening
FlyingThruWalls: How old are you again?
RangerDogMMD: 23
FlyingThruWalls: That sucks. And even worse, you can't postpone it if you're in college anymore
RangerDogMMD: wow. I was unaware of that
RangerDogMMD: holy shit, I just made the most mind-blowing connection
FlyingThruWalls: ?
RangerDogMMD: Bush needs an army to invade the oil-rich countries of the world. As seen in Vietnam, the draft typically draws only the lower-class rural whites and urban minorities.
RangerDogMMD: Next week, Congress is going to pass a bill that revises bankruptcy law, making it harder for anyone to have their debt forgiven, even in the case of medical expenses
RangerDogMMD: I guarantee you this will make a lot of poor people even further trapped in the cycle of poverty, ensuring Bush all the cannon fodder he needs.
RangerDogMMD: And it would also explain why he's so accommodating to illegal aliens

assorted thought jumblings

2005-03-05T15:48:00.000-08:00

update on StalkerGate - the cops have a good idea of who they think it could be, and lucky for us, the guy is moving anyway. Alli's a lot more at ease with the situation.

I bought a new computer and I'm blogging from it right now. It's pretty cool, it's a Dell 4700 and I finally have XP.

If you haven't downloaded FireFox yet, I highly recommend it. It's a way better browser than Internet Explorer.

So I gave up drinking for Lent, and I have really done so with no struggle. I've been in and out of bars and I've not felt tempted in the least. I'm honestly suprised with myself. Even through the whole Stalker problem, I never once felt like I needed a drink. I never thought that I was an alcoholic or anything, I just always imagined that booze had a little stronger hold on me. It's amazing the things you learn. I've got a little more time to go (about three weeks) and I'm only starting to miss it at all. And I don't even miss the drunkenness part. I mostly miss the flavors and tastes. Weird.

mi vida loca

2005-02-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

mi vida loca

lately, my life has been pretty... "exciting" and "interesting" and other words people use when they mean to say "shitty." Lately, Alli's been dealing with a stalker. Some person, whose identity remains a mystery to us all, began with leaving her flowers picked from the neighborhood on her doorstep. This itself is not such a sin and could potentially be construed as sweet, but when the creepy notes started coming, we decided it was time to take it seriously. What was creepy about these notes? Well the first one was the weather section of the local newspaper indicating that whoever this is couldn't be around to drop off flowers on days it rains with the sloppy scrawl at the top "butt in mind: 4 U ok?" A few (rainy) days go by, and eventually we get another note, this one a full page, front and back. Lots of misspellings, but the handwriting was much better. This note made it clear that this person watches her, has an ideal of her in his mind (what she's like), that they are very attracted to her, and that they masturbate to the thought of her. Which, as we all know is the universal way to attract the ladies' attention. Women who read this page, wouldn't getting a note that a dude likes to "cumm" (sic) around and watch you without your knowledge so they can beat it later just warm the cockles of your heart? So I've been staying over there every night this week since thursday, and waking up super early to try to catch him in the act.

I don't know how many of you know this, but I recently got rid of my own stalker student - a creepy girl who had some sort of relationship built up in her mind that didn't exist. She got transferred to a school for emotionally disturbed kids. And then this. To put it in my brother's words, "How the fuck are you two such a hot ticket that you both have been stalked?" What can I say, Alli and I are HOTT with two fucking Ts. But why can't we attract more normal and attractive people? Fucking stalkers.

spirituality

2005-02-16T20:52:00.000-08:00

DISCLAIMER: I'm gonna talk about religious stuff.

Most of the world knows Mardi Gras, but not many people know that it actually signifies the beginning of the season of Lent, the 40 days before Easter. (Okay, actually Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent, the day after Mardi Gras.)Anyway, I have kind of a weird past with the Catholic church that basically resulted in me constantly struggling to find a comfortable spirituality. No, it has nothing to do with any preists and my naughty bits. I've thought about it quite a bit and regardless of any reasons I might have to the contrary, I'd still rather be Catholic than anything else. And here's part of the reason why, I think - It seems to me that in comparison to most other religions I see: evangelicals, Methodists, Baptists, "non-denominationals," etc... Catholicism seems to be the most honest about sin. I mean, it acknowledges sin as a darker part of human nature that we all have to wrestle with, not as some Satan-driven phenomenon propelling Americans into the depths of Hell. That's the reason Lent is the time I'm most active as a Catholic, because Lent is a time to reflect on your sins and act on making some worldly reparation for those sins. And sin is not erased by throwing handfuls of dollars at hucksters on TV with southern accents. Charitable acts, making sacrifices, changing your life for the better, really making an effort to get in touch with your soul, that's what Lent is about.
So you don't eat meat on Fridays, you save your soul from burning in the eternal deep-fryer of damnation? Not quite - the idea is the sacrifice; you take away a small thing and you begin to notice how difficult it is to go without. The no meat thing sounds simple, but if you're used to having meat with dinner, or lunch, you suddenly have to be creative, maybe make an extra trip to the grocery store. And an important point I didn't ever get until this year - don't talk about it; don't let everyone you see know that you're having a hard time today because you gave this up, or you can't do that. Take the sacrifice in stride, see what doing without one simple thing does to your life.
I've lived in struggle with my spirituality for a long time, but that struggle is what let me know it's there. I can't imagine being an aspiritual being - that's gotta be a lonely feeling. And for all my struggle, I still wouldn't be anything but Catholic.

sorta funny... to me

2005-02-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

sorta funny... to me

Don't you hate it when you think of something that's kinda funny to you, but if you were to try to explain it to anyone else, it wouldn't be funny? That happened to me. No, really, you don't want to know. Really. Fine, I'll tell you.

With Lent beginning, lots and lots of Catholics will be going to Red Lobster every Friday. The irony is, it's a restaurant even Jesus would have avoided because shellfish aren't kosher according to Jewish food law. What? I told you it wasn't that funny.

nothing to say

2005-02-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

I really have nothing to blog about. According to my spreadsheet I manage my money really well. Woo fucking hoo. My life is ex-cite-ing. Yup. Thrill a minute, that's me. Super. Super-dee-dooper. Oh yeah. Love being me...

brief bitch list

2005-01-16T22:52:00.000-08:00

a brief bitch list
Hey, who doesn't like to complain from time to time? I try to limit my whinging (great Irish term for whining) to a bare minimum, but being that it was my birthday yesterday, my birthday present to myself is the chance to kinda complain a little. Here's a list of things that have annoyed me as of late:

When you tell someone you're sick and their response is "Ugh, well, stay away from me." Fuck you very much buddy. I'm sure I told you as a warning for your help, not because I was looking for a little human compassion or anything. Seriously, what the fuck is up with humanity that sympathy takes a backseat to greedy self-interest? It's like the president spending 40 million on his inauguration (SECOND inauguration) while the rest of the countries in the world spend half their GDP on tsunami relief. Urgh.
People who say "I have an addictive personality" as an excuse as to why they have such little self-control. First of all, it should be addicted personality; the other way it means I can't get enough of your banal ass, and secondly let's call a spade a spade - you have no willpower, you are weak-willed. As far as being somehow genetically easily addicted there are three possibilities - 1) family history of alcohol abuse 2) family history of narcotic abuse, possibly while you were fetal and 3) you're a weak-willed lame-ass. "Addictive personality" my ass.
The death of the individual's rights and powers. I mean seriously - I feel like the individual man is so ridiculously powerless in our society today. I feel like the elite in our country run everything the way they want it with no concern for how their methods of making profit affect anyone else. (this includes the current executive administration) The "little guy" has no power, absurdly enough, in the greatest democracy on earth. Seriously, the rich get away with murder, while the whole country has to watch and digest the murder trial of a fucking manure salesman.
This country's bizarre obsession with celebrity retards. I saw a show on VH1 today about the most "Shocking Celebrity Hair Moments." An entire show devoted to celebrity hair. I almost showered with the toaster after being exposed to that level of ridiculous celebrity minutiae worship. Beyond that, all these celebrity "moment" countdown shows on VH1 are just turning into the bitter not-so-famous taking the most vicious potshots at legitimate celebrities for the most strained of reasons. Get a legitimate career, losers.
Yeah, I had more, but I've had like three or four glasses of wine since beginning this blog. I guess I just have an addictive personality.

dad's wedding

2005-01-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

Just got back from my dad's wedding. It was a nice ceremony, but made my weekend kind of blurrrr by. Traveling halfway across the country and back in 3 days with little to no sleep will do things to ya. I know I've learned that the less time I spend in Texas, the better my life will be. We had a connection in Houston, where the airport is named after the current president's father. This lead to conversations that tittlated my brother and I and annoyed Alli, who had the severe misfortune to be traveling with us.

UPON ARRIVAL AT GEORGE BUSH INTL AIRPORT IN HOUSTON:
MATT: I just can't wait to get into Bush.
BEN: I'm so excited to think that in a few moments we'll be unloading into Bush. (peering out the window at the grass surrounding the runway) You'd think the landing strip would be better trimmed. I hate a long landing strip at Bush.
MATT: At least it's not raining like the weatherman said it would. I was expecting a wet Bush.
ALLI: (embarassed that other passengers might be hearing this) You guys! Grow up!
BEN: Sorry. You know how excited us guys get about Bush.
MATT: Yeah, don't worry, it's only an hour layover.
BEN: Yeah, I usually like to spend about an hour in Bush and then take off.
MATT: Don't most men? Heh heh (dirty look from Alli) Uh, love you honey.

LOOKING INTO THE FOOD COURT:
ALLI: I'm hungry. Do we have time to eat?
BEN: I always like to eat when I'm in Bush.
MATT: Look, they have a Rubio's. For some reason being in Bush always puts me in the mood for a fish taco.
ALLI: Matthew!

BEN EMERGES FROM THE BATHROOM IN THE TERMINAL:
BEN: God, what a disgusting mess.
MATT: Bathroom's not clean?
BEN: No. God, if there's one thing I hate it's an unsanitary Bush. (Alli groans, thinking this was over)
MATT: So, you're telling me this is one stinky Bush?
ALLI: Come on, we need to get to our connecting gate.
MATT: We need to hurry then. I don't know who designed this place, but this Bush is so spread out.

WAITING AT THE GATE FOR OUR CONNECTING FLIGHT:
MATT: Looks like we're going to have a crowded flight.
BEN: Jesus, it's like everyone comes through Bush.

new year's coming up

2004-12-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I wanted to do a rant about the horrible mediocrity of U2 and exress my confusion at the appeal of these bore-rockers, but apparently Maddox beat me to it. And he's way funnier than I could ever dream to be. But seriously, enough with U2.
I watched this show called My Coolest Years on VH1 all about "bad girls" in high school... A bunch of quasi-celebs bragging about how "cool" it was that they were dumb, drunk, and slutty in high school. Way to set an example. I've got to admit, I'm guilty of bragging about stupid crap sometimes ("I was so drunk the other night, huh huh...") but I'm not boasting that that's my lifestyle. I hate when people want to be adored for their worst qualities.
I hate shaving, having to worry about my hair or my breath. I like being clean but just don't like having to waste time on it. Another quote, this time going back to Fierce Invalids:
"Ritual he liked, but compulsory routine he hated. Thus, he resented every minute that he now had to surrender to showering, shampooing, shaving, and flossing and brushing his teeth. If mere men could devise self-defrosting refrigerators and self-cleaning ovens, why couldn't nature, in all of its complex, inventive magnificence, have managed to come up with self-cleaning teeth? "There's birth," he grumbled, "there's death, and in between there's maintenance." "
- Tom Robbins

Good times.

ho ho ho

2004-12-24T13:57:00.000-08:00

back in the land of the RED for the red and green holiday... and for a little humor this holiday season, I present to you author Christopher Moore's thesis on why the rest of the country generally hates California. (But you know, fuck those guys.)

"Winter denial - Theo did it, most Californians did it - they assumed that because the weather was nice most of the time, it would be nice all of the time, and so, in the midst of a rainstorm, you'd find people outdoors without an umbrella, or when nights dipped into the thirties, you'd still see someone dip-pumping his gas in surfer shorts and a tank top... Winter denial: therein lay the key to California Schadenfreude - the secret joy that the rest of the country feels at the misfortune of California. The country said: "Look at them, with their fitness and their tans, their beaches and their movie stars, their Silicon Valley and their silicone breasts, their orange bridge and their palm trees. God, I hate those smug, sunshiny bastards!" Because if you're up to your navel in a snowdrift in Ohio, nothing warms your heart like the sight of California on fire. If you're shoveling silt out of your basement in the Fargo flood zone, nothing brightens your day like watching a Malibu mansion tumbling down a cliff and into the sea. And if a tornado just peppered the land around your Oklahoma town with random trailer trash and redneck nuggets, then you can find a quantum of solace in the fact that the earth actually opened up in the San Fernando Valley and swallowed a whole caravan of commuting SUVs."
- The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror by Christopher Moore

I love Chris Moore - he wrote one of my favorite books called Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. If you aren't that into reading, but you like to laugh, you should check him out. Merry Christmas, California. The rest of you people... humbug.

Garp and Art

2004-12-20T09:45:00.000-08:00

back again fulfilling my innate urges for literary discussion. This time it's The World According to Garp by John Irving. A well-known novel, (at least to many of the older people I mention it to...) with some interesting ideas about love, lust, death, fear, yada yada universal theme this and that... But I picked out the following passage because I'm not sure how I feel about Garp's (the main character) thesis. I know that Abenicio! disagrees. At least, I'm pretty sure he does.

" "Art doesn't help anyone," Garp said. "People can't really use it: they can't eat it, it won't shelter or clothe them - and if they're sick, it won't make them well." This, Helen knew, was Garp's thesis on the basic uselessness of art; he rejected the idea that art was of any social value whatsoever - that it could be, that it should be. The two things mustn't be confused, he thought: there was art, and there was helping people ... But, true to his thesis, he saw art and social responsibility as two distinct acts."
- The World According to Garp, John Irving.

I don't believe they have to be...

fuck that guy

2004-12-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

There's nothing more dramatic than people who start sentences with "There's nothing more (adjective)." Sorry, I catch myself doing that a lot and realized what a drama queen it makes me look like. What I was going to say before I had said revelation was: There's nothing more disheartening to a teacher than the moment you realize how great a show you put on, how much effort and energy you pour into one kid, how much encouragement you give him, he's still going to fuck it up because he WANTS to fuck it up. He has some idea that there's something better out there than what I have to offer him, something that doesn't involve work. I honestly think that's the problem so many people have with school is that it's... work. It's not easy. And I believe that yes, there are people for whom academic pursuits hold no appeal. I've known those people. But to make this decision at age 14? And moreover, just because you've made that choice, is there any reason to bring the rest of the class down with you? You'd like to believe that you can make every kid believe and save every body that passes through your door... it's like finding out Santa ain't real. I hate to say I'm giving up on this kid, but I feel like that's the only option he's left me. The amount of stress and worry I've given this wannabe gansta cholo is hardly worth the amount of gratitude or effort I'm getting in return. I hate to say this but... fuck that guy.

elitism

2004-12-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

"The instant elitism became a dirty word among Americans, any potential for high culture to develop in their country was tomahawked in its cradle. She quoted Thomas Jefferson to the effect that, "There exists a false aristocracy based on family name, property, and inherited wealth. But there likewise exists a true aristocracy based on intelligence, talent, and virtue." Switters had pointed out that either way, aristocracy seemed to be a matter of luck. Maestra responded tartly, "Virtue is not something you can win in a goddamned lottery." And years later Bobby had told him, "What the shiftless folks call 'luck,' the wise ol' boys recognized as karma.""

- Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates by Tom Robbins

the perils of modern music

2004-11-29T21:04:00.000-08:00

sophisticated motherfucker

2004-11-22T20:34:00.000-08:00

Saw Bridget Jones 2 this weekend... I'm ah, I'm afraid I don't rather know how to say this but, ah, I think I've become ah, rather... impressed... with Hugh Grant. Rather. But what it really got me thinking about is how much I think I'd like to live in a much colder climate for a while, like east coast so I could be all sophisticated and shit - wear a suit and tie all the time with a trenchcoat over it and leather gloves... rent some shwank high rise apartment and just sit around with Alli drinking red wine and martinis listening to Norah Jones and Harry Connick and Sinatra and Martin and Jamie Cullum... It's just so different from every life I've ever dreamed for myself.

bleah

2004-11-18T20:15:00.000-08:00

it's been boring, and has been widely discussed on the blog circuit, boring life is impossible to blog about. With grading being due, and the principal coming in to evaluate me sometime this week. Since it's Thursday night and I'm blogging about it, we must assume it'll be tomorrow. I can't believe she waited 'til Friday. I've been jumpy and freaked out all week long. I just wanted to get it over with. Argh, I'll let the world know how it went tomorrow night. [EDIT]The principal came in on Friday to promptly reschedule my evaluation for next Monday. We'll see if I teach good next week. [/EDIT]

By the way, only one person took me up on the offer for the quiz thing. Matt, I owe you a tasty beverage.

boredom and egotism

2004-11-12T13:24:00.000-08:00

Boredom and egotism a good match do not make. I wrote this little quiz for Alli to see how much she could get. Thought I'd put it up here too, just to see. And to make it sweeter, the first person with the highest score, I hereby do solemnly swear to buy you one drink of your choice the next time we are in a bar together. No cheating, though, I'm only buying for one, man. And yes, Benito in a bar, not at Circle K. Just email your answers to me at matthewd@gmail.com.

In what US city was I born? 1 bonus point if you can name the suburb.
Besides the one where I was born, in what other states have I had residence?
Name 3 of my ex-girlfriends. 1 bonus point if you include a nickname I had for them (pre- or post- break up, whatever.)
I read comic books, everything from mainstream well-known ones like Spider-Man to lesser-known independent ones like _________________. (Fill in the blank)
What’s the one chemical, non-cosmetic, non-food smell that I love?
How many dogs have I had? 1 bonus point if you can name the dead one.
In what city do I teach? 1 bonus point if you can name the school.
Who is my favorite Food Network TV personality?
What was my nickname for my first car? 1 bonus point if you know the model year.
I’m at an open bar and I can order anything I want for free. I have a designated driver, so I’m free to go nuts. Knowing me, what am I most likely to order?

Total of 15 points possible. Again, answers go to matthewd@gmail.com. Good luck! (And please ignore the basic, blatant egotism of this whole thing. Look at it as a chance for a free drink.) Booyashakah.

Geek Love

2004-11-08T19:25:00.000-08:00

Fantastic bit of prose from my new favorite work of fiction describing how I have always felt about these people:

"There are those whose own vulgar normality is so apparent and stultifying that they strive to escape it. They affect flamboyant behavior and claim originality according to the fashionable eccentricites of their time. The claim brains or talent or indifference to mores in desperate attempts to deny their own mediocrity. These are frequently artists and performers, adventurers and wide-life devotees.
Then there are those who feel their own strangeness and are terrified by it. They struggle toward normalcy. They suffer to exactly that degree that they are unable to appear normal to others, or convince themselvest that their aberration does not exist. These are true freaks, who appear, almost always, conventional and dull."

- Arturo the Aqua-Boy, Geek Love

Arturo is a carnival freak, born with flippers instead of arms and legs. Good stuff.

not quite sure about that...

2004-11-06T11:01:00.000-08:00

You Are a New School Democrat

You like partying and politics
and are likely to be young and affluent.
Smoking pot, homosexuality, and gambling are all okay in your book.
You prefer that the government help people take care of themselves.

What Political Persuasion are YOU!?

Uhhh, okay.

a challenge

2004-11-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

A CHALLENGE!

I hereby challenge anyone who might have voted for Bush to give me a legitimate reason why that I can't tear to shreds with my "research" and "logic." I know that sounds arrogant as fuck, and if someone stumps me, I'll look like a tool. But I've been a huge dorky tool my whole life, so what do I care? 14-year-olds love me.

To my theologian/philosopher friends out there, don't you find it interesting that the number one reason people voted for Bush was his morals and ethics? Kerry kinda skirted those topics, focusing on the war and the economy, very immediate, here-and-now things, but what really resonated with the American voter this time around was Bush's talk about core values and ethics and morals (gay marriage, stem-cell research, abortion, evil, etc.) No good or bad judgement from me on this one... it's just interesting.

a stern lecture

2004-11-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

::America comes through the front door of a darkened house to find me sitting at the kitchen table, in my robe and slippers:: Where do you think you're going? No, no, sit down. We need to have a little talk. Apparently someone hasn't been paying attention for the last four years. The lying, the deaths of innocents, the ritual fucking of the poor... I just don't get it. You're hanging around with the wrong crowd, and you know it and it just kills me to see you go along with it. I'm telling you, that Bush kid you hang out with is only bringing you down. I don't like the person you've become since you starting hanging out with that punk. I'm... *sigh* Look, I'm not angry, just... *sigh* disappointed. Well, I hope you're happy with what you've done. Maybe you'll grow up, I just hope it's soon. ::scene::

Seriously, people - if you voted Bush then you haven't been paying attention. If you didn't vote at all, you should join the carnival as the amazing freak who can fit his entire head in his ass. I'm so angry and bitter about this right now. What's even scarier is that we now have an Republican-dominated Congress, Senate, and White House. You know what you call that when ONE political ideology has control of a country? A dictatorship. It blows my mind that the Republicans who are supposed to be for lesser government control in the business world want to have such control over people's personal home lives (i.e. gay marriage, etc). I could go on for four years just griping, but this is my catharsis right here and now. Everyone deserves their one shot to bitch. Moving on.

a call to arms!

2004-10-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

Say, I've been wondering lately, because it's getting to be close to that time of year, but I haven't heard those magical words I long to hear - REDLANDS ROCKING RAMADAN. Is it happening this year? It's so cool to have a tradition. It's like the first readl vacation of the school year that I get, and I really want to blow off some steam with the REDs. Anyway, I hope we're still planning on it. You know I'm down. We should do it someplace with a hot tub. I love it when the REDs drink in the pool.

By the way, don't see The Grudge. I couldn't sleep in silence for three nights after I saw that movie. Seriously freaked me out. The ghosts are just so creepy. I still can't look at the movie poster without getting chills. Yeah, I'm a pussy, so what?

BTW, I'm working on designing a page for the REDs to keep in contact, sort of like a bulletin board, but using blogger's software. However, I'm by no means a web designer, so it always comes out looking a little like... well, shit. Here's a small example. I'm working on a way to make it go across the whole page. Whatever.

from the mouths of cholos

2004-10-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

My students had to look for words they don't know in their reading and do a worksheet on it... well, just read on -

philosophy: a speculative inquiry concerning the source and nature of human knowledge.
part of speech: noun
synonym: smart
antonym: dumb

Having spent so much time around students of philosophy, that reductio struck me as really funny. Oh, you silly vatos.

Shoulda learned to rope and ride...

2004-10-18T16:43:00.000-07:00

Went to a country concert this weekend. Bought a cowboy hat. I shoulda been cowboy.

Lovin' it. Anyway, not much else is happening. Alli was out of towne this weekend, so the boys and I had a time. The Amazing Abenicio! even slept on my couch. I swear to God, I squeeze more livin' into my weekends than ever before. Up til 3AM on both Friday and Saturday, and I am paying for it come Monday, but at least I'm making the most of my free time. Getting eager to see the Reds. Also curious about Jew. Haven't seen him since he wrecked his ride. These short, fragmented, Hemingway-esque sentences? That's how my brain operates when I'm this dead tired. I'm Audi 5000, G.

2004-10-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

Howdy-ho. I'm tired. I'm ALWAYS tired these days. I wake up every morning at 5:15 and show up at school by 6:30. School begins at 7:45. I'm there an hour and a quarter early every day. Well, every day except last Friday, when I woke up at 8:30. That wasn't fun, not at all. I think I turned my alarm off or forgot to turn it on, subconciously. I will get used to this, eventually. I swear I'm supposed to be used to waking up early already. But I guess I'm still not ready to give up the ghost.

I gotta be honest, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about quitting teaching to enjoy being a young person. I'm not even technically a "twentysomething" yet, I'm still considered "early twenties." I guess this is a shock all young people must go through when at last they must join the rat race/real world/working wounded, yada yada... the shock of transitioning from COLLEGE STUDENT - RAWK ONNNNN! COLLLEGE!! to ...working professional. It ain't an easy thing to deal with, that I know for sure. But the problem is at this point, I don't know what I could potentially do other than teaching. The only other kind of job I'd want would be something manual and outdoors. Working with my hands, creating a physical difference. Building houses, digging trenches, cleaning up the rubble of the offices of a tech company after a fire set by a deranged ex-employee, that kind of thing. All I know is if teaching doesn't start to get any easier, I'm going to put arsenic in the guacamole.

blogging for the sake of it

2004-10-02T14:03:00.000-07:00

I'm blogging just to keep up with it. Life is okay... grades are due monday by 10AM, ao it's a crunch to get all this shit taken care of... Paying close attention to the political situation these days. I think it's way cool that everyone's getting interested. It's a very important election. I didn't vote in the Bush/Gore election and I've regretted that for four years. (Not that it would have made a difference since CA was already for Gore and it's the electoral votes that count, not the popular.) Still not voting is not an option. Not voting this time around is tantamount to voting for Bush. Even if you're one of these "fuck the world, the government, and everything" people, this election will affect you so vote. Didn't anybody watch SLC Punk? Basically, if you're between the ages of 18 and 30 and you like where you are and would prefer not to be drafted, vote Kerry. All I can hope for is two more debates like the one on the 30th. Dem Domination.

This weekend Alli and I celebrate our 4 year anniversary. WHAT THE HELL? Four years have never gone by so quickly in my life. How did a person manage to put up with my bizarre neuroses for four fucking years? How did I manage to finally date a woman without psychotic tendencies? (Albeit, there was Heather, but she didn't have any tendencies.*yawn*) I still can't believe she hasn't run screaming for the hills after meeting my family. I mean, we're nice people, but our history ain't the most normal, especially compared to the white picket fence quality of her family life. (By the way, my dad's getting married again... This marks the 3rd marriage. Ross from "Friends" was married 3 times. My life is a sitcom. Cool.) Back to the subject at hand - Alli and I have been together for 4 years as of October 4th. I'm pretty sure this marks my decision. After 4 years anywhere, you usually graduate to the next level.

2004-09-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

Been thinking a lot about true love, being in love, having a loved one, etc. The fact that Aaron mentioned it in his LiveJournal just gives me an opportunity to ruminate on it...

But what is it? What is being in love? Love is an addiction, like one can be addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even sex. And yes, there is a separation between love and sex to be made. I'm speaking of romantic love, not familial or fraternal... simply put Romantic Love is an addiction to another person. At least this is my experience. I have no problem admitting that I am thoroughly addicted to Alli. I hate saying good bye at night, we talk in the morning before work, and the first thing I do when I get out of work is to call her. Often as I stare out at the sea of cynical teenage faces waiting for me to fill them with knowledge that not only enlightens them, but entertains them as well, I will wish that I was with Alli doing something, anything - it could be waiting outside the dressing room at The Limited for all I could care. It's funny, too because her chosen field, finance, is the most mind-boggling thing in the world to me and nine times out of ten when she talks to me about work, I don't get it. I put up with her cat, and I hate cats. But for all our differences we've made it to close to four years. After four years, there is still nothing better than cozying up in her big armchair, our foreheads gently touching. There, that moment of serenity, of total peace with another person, that is the high that comes with romantic love, the high that makes the addiction pay off. Some people, those people who have striven to be "unique, strong individuals" their whole lives - you know the people who went to absurd extremes just to prove to a world that wasn't asking for proof how different they really are - would argue that there's something demeaning in the implication that love is simply an addiction to another person. I would argue no. I'm pretty sure I know myself well. I know what kind of an individual I am. I know what kind of a person I am. I am validated to myself. But that another human being, for no one is alone on this planet ("No man is an island" - John Donne), that is a true acknowledgment of my worth. At least... that's my take on it.

In truth it's been on my mind a lot lately because Alli and I have decided that we are mature enough, and have been together long enough to have the Big Talk. You know the one - the Next Big Step talk. At the very least I wish she and I lived together. But I honestly believe that I could pull off the Next Big Step (you notice, I'm still uncomfortable using the actual M-word) because I am so in love with Alli. And we've been even closer since we accepted that the NBS is probably in our future. Barring some unforeseen catastrophe (*knockknockknock*) we will probably wind up walking down an aisle, and I ain't talking 'bout going to Vons together.

get the monkey out

2004-09-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

Had a great time at home this last weekend, and it was great, great, great indeed to see all my friends. I shoulda left the ball and chain so I could have gone buck wild on the absinthe. (Just kidding, dear...) Anyhow, got something on my mind.

I don't usually get too political, but being that I live in a house where Fox News is going constantly I get a little sick of it. Thank God for Air America, I'd go nuts without it... No, on second thought - thank God for George Bush. Thank God. Because if Kerry were president, America would have melted into a puddle of sulpherous waste by now. Or at least that's the argument the GOP is making, but I don't have the right to question our government, right? That's not how this country was started or anything. But I digress. Thank God for George Bush, because while in office he has made it so much harder for terrorists to get into this country. No, on second thought, his "guest worker" program makes it pretty easy for illegal immigrants to get in... at least once they're here, they won't be able to get their hands on anything really dangerous... no, no, because he let that whole "assault weapon ban" thing lapse... Well, the terrorists won't have much motivation to move against us since Bush captured their evil leader, Osama Bin Laden. No, no I think he's made it very clear that he hasn't really given that much thought lately. Well, at least Osama won't be using any of his WMD, right? Since we have those safe and secure now? Hmm... which one of the promises that Bush made has he fucking kept? Kerry voted in favor of going into Iraq... because his President guaranteed him (and the American people) that it was the right thing to do. I'm tired of people accusing Kerry of flip-flopping when Bush has said a million things that his actions go back on. Here's all you need to know, and it's truth and you can look it up from several news sources and whatnot, and good luck finding an impartial source but still, you may be able to confirm this in some way: Kerry rallies are open, anyone may attend including Bush supporters. Bush rallies are closely screened so that no antiBush proKerry people make it through.

Gah! Sorry I don't mean to get political, but like I said, when it's stuck in your face constantly, it's hard to deal with. Reds, I'd like to see you in my neck of the woods one of these days. Vaya Con Dios.

can't wait for the green fairy...

2004-09-03T18:55:00.000-07:00

Guys, I signed up for AudioBlogger so we can call in to my blog our experiences with the Green Fairy. Booyashakah.

revenge of old guy kid

2004-09-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

Week 2 of school almost away and gone, with a 3-day weekend on the horizon. Life is beginning to calm down (sort of) and I'm beginning to get more and more used to being a teacher. I have found that I like the days where I wear a shirt and tie better that "college day" where I can wear a t-shirt and jeans. To look more teacherly I tuck the shirt into the jeans and it winds up looking horrible. I look like an "old guy kid." We all know old guy kid. He's been around all throughout high school, and even followed some of us to college. Old Guy Kid is the kid who acts like he's... old. Not mature, just old. The kid who probably tucked his t-shirts into his pants. The kid who seriously wore his cell phone on the belt clip. The kid who was always looking around like everything was awaiting his approval. Old Guy Kid. I live with two of them.... Lord I can't wait til I move out on my own. I need my own space if I'm going to be doing this teaching thing. There are a couple reasons for this: 1) I barely have my own space at school, so when I come home I have to share space with two other guys? 2) Teaching really makes an egotist out of everyone involved in the profession, and egotism always leads to resentment. (I mean that every teacher I've ever come across is under the impression that we are doing the most important work since Jesus lived. Although, Jesus was a teacher.) 3) I wake up between 5 and 5:30 every morning. I go to bed between 10:30 and 11 PM. This isn't fair to my roommates because I would like a little quiet so I can get to sleep and it's not fair to me because I need a little quiet to get to sleep, and let's face it, they're still 22 year old males who want to go out and do stuff. Stuff late at night. I was there myself a scant few weeks ago. But egotism remember? My job is more important than his job, or his schooling, or their bar nights, etc, etc. Bottom line - I need my own place. But I can't move to North County (where I work) because Alli still lives in Central San Diego. And I can't leave Alli. Not an option.

Gah, I'm tired. I'm always tired these days.

5 days down, 180 more to go.

2004-08-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

WTF is up with blogger these days? First putting that bar thing across the top of everyone's page OVER the content... which you can get around by going into your template and putting one or two more "br" tags right before the start of the table tag... and Secondly, and no disrespect to Cory, but when did blogger become Xanga? Profile along the side, you have to have a log-in to comment? I'm so glad I saved the original HTML for my blog. Geeky bitching aside...

First week of school down. I hope I'm getting through to my ese vato class. They at least kind of interact with me now. They're still too "hard" to really put effort into the class, but being a gringo que habla has piqued their interest. I've heard that after the first week things get easier. I hope so. Lucky for me, I have curriculum guidelines now. As free-spirited and hippy-dippy as HTH was, the complete lack of guidance really did me a disservice as far as being a planner goes.

There are all these shows and movies about how hard it is to be a high school student, and the funny situations they go through as they come of age, but I'm realizing more and more that teacher's lives are just as bizarre. I don't have any clue how to write a script, but if I did, I would write it from the teacher's POV. I think it would have universal enough appeal. Not everyone is a teacher, but at some point everyone has had a teacher.

Again, planning on being in the Tierra Roja region on the weekend of the 10th. We shall see. But I hope to see everyone again.

white knuckle time

2004-08-21T14:54:00.000-07:00

The kiddies report for school bright and early Monday morning. I'm scared to fucking death. I feel woefully underprepared. As a matter of fact I should be working right now but I can't bring myself to focus. I have always been a last minute pressure guy and I'm hoping I won't let myself down on this most important of projects.

Where did my summer go? I don't even think I went back to Redlands except for at the very beginning when I needed to store a bunch of shit at my mom's because it wouldn't fit in my new house. Alli tells me that after you start down the path to CareerLand you begin to realize how short the weekends truly are.

Everything in this world costs money. It is necessary to have some means for procuring this money if only for the means of survival. Thomas Carlyle suggested "Do the Duty which lies nearest thee" - do the work that is closest to that which you would enjoy. Knowing that I would never be able to sit in a cubicle, I became a teacher, a role I have aspired to throughout my life. As Mr. Antolini tells Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye (and I'm paraphrasing here) - don't fight the system tooth and nail, move with it, go through it until you are in the position to make a difference, then act. I fancy myself a strong individual, one who has not lost any of my individuality by joining the "rat race." Sorry if this bizarre rant seems to have come out of nowhere; it is resultant of both a barroom conversation I had with a friend as well as observing the restlessness of many young people my age... Nutshell version - yeah, we'd all like to do what we want with our lives, but contrary to what our instant gratification nation has been telling us our whole lives, you do have to put in some time and work in order to be able to do with your life what you will.

I think I may be coming into the Red Land the weekend of Sept. 10 (possibly.) I hope our globe-trotting friends will be back by then. Otherwise, I hope to see the rest of you at the Falconer.

life goes sideways

2004-08-13T15:08:00.000-07:00

For all two of my friends who actually still read this - I had a great revelation the other day. Basically I had this idea in high school that if I worked hard and lived relatively cleanly, my life would go how I planned. I always thought that you go to high school, then to college, then you get a job and grow up. Everything I had planned (with the exception of truly growing up) has happened, and I have to feel somehow empowered in that I feel like I made it happen for myself. I worked hard in college with a goal in mind, I met said goal, and now right after college I have the job that I worked for. Naturally I had help from my mom and dad who always encouraged me and oh, paid for college - but they didn't make me study and they didn't make me go through hellish schedule juggling to fit all my Practica and Student Teaching in around an undergraduate schedule. In some cases I felt obligated by all their help and support to do well and meet my goals, but in the end they were still my goals, goals that I realized in the time frame I had set for myself. I know it sounds like quite a bit of back-patting going on from my position, but it's a very good feeling that I'm not ashamed to enjoy. Now I can set new goals for myself - being a good teacher, getting involved at school, buying a house, getting (yikes!) married. I really feel like I can do almost anything I set my mind to at this point.

I've had a wild couple of days ranging from drunken Russian dinners to yesterday, wherein I went all over San Diego (NSEW - all of it) and didn't get home until 6:30 in the morning. It was an adventure worthy of Abencio himself.

Recently finished Catcher in the Rye, and as an English major, I'm sorry to say I did not like it. I mean, it was a very well constructed psychological novel charting the main character's mental breakdown, but he was so unlikeable. He mostly whined the whole novel long. I guess it's supposed to be a great book because it showcases the cynical point of view which doesn't really get much exposure in literature, but I just thought it was fucking annoying.

Speaking of annoying, I found out I'll be teaching FRESHMEN. Good times there. We'll have to see if I can whip the little... **** into shape. Peace.

You're Hired!

2004-08-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

Big big big big news for those of you who haven't already heard it - I have been hired on as a full time teacher at a high school down here. It's an English teacher position, don't know what grade yet, but school starts on August 23rd so I'm getting pretty nervous about the whole thing.

As excited as I am about this whole teaching position, I have to admit my summer has been realy weird for me mentally... I've gone through long periods of melancholy and long periods f celebration and am having a rough time finding a middle. I'm coming off the end of one of my moody streaks. Honestly, even though I have two roommates and a girlfriend, I think I've just been really lonely. Sounds stupid, but now that college is over and done, my close friends have all moved away, and I haven't really seen the Reds all summer long. The people who know me best are in short supply right now. (Other than Alli.) Anyway, if you're one of my close friends who reads this - I miss you guys. And not in a gay way either.

My Date With Corky

2004-07-30T23:55:00.000-07:00

"Hey, you wanna feed a killer whale?" What would you do if someone just asked you that out of the blue? I tell you what I did - I jumped on it right quick.

So I'm standing there at Shamu Close-Up, which is a big pool where the whales can hang out in between shows and the public can see them. I'm there to answer questions people may have about the animals. Unfortunatly this was a closing shift so it was about 9:45 at night and there were not many whale-curious people about. Suddenly the trainer comes down to do a feeding session with the one whale in the pool and turns to me and asks "Hey, do you wanna feed a killer whale?" Now I've been working at Sea World since June 12 and I've still never even touched a dolphin so I was like "Uh, yeah." Now granted I didn't get to touch the whale, and I was just sticking my hands into ice cold fish and tossing big handfuls down her throat but it was an interaction all the same. The whale acknowledged me. At first she kept looking to the trainer for the food, but the trainer would point to me "no, he's feeding you." Eventually the whale was like, oh okay I get it now, and moved over in front of me and opened her mouth. So f-ing cool. I wonder if my mother would kill me if I set aside that college degree for a few years to ascend through the ranks of Sea World to become a Shamu trainer. (Apparently the money's not that good, but I'll bet you the line "I work with Shamu" gets you laid like none other.) Anyway, after the feed the whale kept swimming around and pausing to look at me as if to say "Well new guy... anymore fish coming or what?" So cool.

I'm a penguin, black and white...

2004-07-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

So I got "promoted" to camp counselor at Sea World. I've spent the last week with 2nd & 3rd graders. Don't ask me about current events, but I could tell you all about what Cassie and Maddie did last night after they went home from Sea World camp. We've got one camper who every time we get soaked, she hikes her shorts up really high into her crotch. We call her "CT." What the hell are parents teaching their kids? There's the ADHD kid, who makes the day seem that much longer. I wish I could just sit him down and explain to him that he needs to calm the hell down because I don't believe in ADD or ADHD... It was a lot easier to say before I started working with this kid.

By the way, Ken Jennings must be stopped. He's the guy who's been on Jeopardy for like... 37 shows straight. I am confident he's some kind of eugenics experiment on behalf of the Church of Latter Day Saints meant to bring Mormonism more into the mainstream. I think he's supposed to be "likeable" but he comes off as just really dorky and arrogant. Also he gets so many Daily Doubles and clears so many categories that the way he and Alex joke with one another makes me wonder if someone isn't sucking someone else's dick. I'm serious people, don't fall under his spell, otherwise we'll all be jumping on trampolines.

fahkin' 'ell

2004-07-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

I must say that between Sea World and Vegas, I have noticed a dangerous amount of man-pris. What are man-pris? Man-pris are capri pants for men, much like shants, only more "fitted" to the legs. DO NOT fall into the man-pri craze that I can feel will soon be upon us, me hearties. It just looks G to the A to the Y, not cool.

As I worked the Shark Encounter for the mind-numbing 7 zillionth time it occurred to me that a great number of people will stop and film the sharks swimming for 5, 10 minutes. What the hell are they doing with this footage? I mean if they show this vacation tape to anyone they're going to have to fast forward through 7 minutes of sharks just circling. Here's something interesting - if you're a "shark lover" you're galeophilic.

I've noticed something disturbing lately - common sense and common courtesy are the two least common things in America right now. I'm working on starting a movement to bring the phrase "excuse me" back into the american lexicon, because it seems to have disappeared. The next time you need to get around someone in a tight situation, help further the cause by actually saying excuse me. You'll be making the world a better place I guarantee.

Drink drank drunk. I finish this entry drunk. I miss the Reds and y'all need to blog more often, that's how I keep up on your lives. I'm going to try to make it home so we can have a Falconer night and catch up. I have to tell you how the prostitutes stole our money in Vegas.

Remember folks, just because you're around animals you've never seen before doesn't mean you have to act like a total retard *let's get retarded in here...* Just because Paris Hilton and Britney Spears make headlines and VH1 doesn't mean that dressing like some weird version of upper class white trash makes you cool... God, that bothers me. Bveryone who tries that "blue collar chic" thing where they go to fucking Urban Outfitters and buy clothes that look like they got them at a garage sale to go with their unkempt hair and trucker hats and stained jeans and wannabe MHL and PBR t-shirts should be forced into a room with some REAL white trash, the kind I met through Erik or at the YRP, so they could beat the shit out of those people. When did being disengenuous start being "hip"?

I'm drunk...

[EDIT] I think that the Sublime version of Rivers of Babylon is one of my favorite songs ever. That and Waiting for my Ruca. Sublime fucking rules.

a simple request

2004-07-12T00:34:00.000-07:00

attention people of the world - TAKE YOUR GODDAMN FOOT OFF THE BRAKE. Learn to drive with the gas pedal. More importantly, learn to drive a stickshift. And lastly, it's okay to drive fast.

Got this website off my brother's AIM profile: www.michaelmoorehatesamerica.com - go there and see why we need to stop letting an obese man trying to tell us our politics. I have never really liked/trusted that guy.

Looking for good books to read this summer. Any suggestions will be appreciated.

Vegas with the masterful Abenicio and crew in just a few days. It's gonna be so fucking money baby. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, which makes Vegas sorta like Fight Club, only with fun stuff like booze, strippers, and gambling. And fake Elvises. Money!

When Alli went home for the weekend, I dropped her off at the airport Friday afternoon. As I was pulling away, "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service came on the radio. I like that song. It describes pretty decently how I feel about Alli. If the rest of the CD is really good and someone wants to burn it for me, that would be super sweet, because right now, I ain't in the position to be buying CDs.

I wish I could make a wishlist and have people buy me the stuff I want like those camwhore girls do, but I'd need a webcam and a vagina for that... although I already have a webcam... anyway, if anyone in Redlands wants to pick up 3-4 months worth of comics I have reserved at ComicQuest and buy them for me and ship them out here without expecting pay in return, that'd be super. No takers?

Stay Classy, San Diego and Redlands.

actual questions

2004-07-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

actual questions I've encountered while working at Sea World:
AT THE SHARK ENCOUNTER - Are they real? Which are the sharks that bite? Why did you guys get rid of the tunnel? (Okay, that one needs some explanation - people will walk 3 feet into the exhibit and ask this question. Fear not, the tunnel still exists, you must actually WALK THROUGH the exhibit to get there however.
AT WILD ARCTIC - Are they real? (Beluga Whales) Are those icicles real? (In the middle of summer?!) I thought you had polar bears? (Well, if you continue walking through the exhibit...)
AT SHAMU CLOSE UP - So, which one's Shamu? (There are 3 Sea Worlds, a Shamu at each of them. On top of that, we have SEVEN whales...) Can you make the whales come over here? (Yes I can, for we are their masters and they must do our bidding...)
AT THE COMMERSON'S DOLPHINS - Are they real? (HOLY CRAP - we're a zoological park, why would we have FAKE ANIMALS?!)

There are other mind-boggling things like that too numerous to remember. How long can bat rays hold their breath? The world may never know.

e'erbody in the bar get tipsay

2004-06-30T01:31:00.000-07:00

e'erbody in the bah get tipsay

So a little bit about my new place - it's a condo in a complex. We have a community pool and hot tub, which is cool. I wish I would have had a hot tub earlier in my collegiate career. My complex is right acrosss the street from the San Diego Mission, the first mission in California, which is cool. I have my own bedroom and live with two other housemates who each have their own bedrooms, which is cool. And we live right down the street from a bar (well within walking distance) called McGregor's, which I just got back from. My buddies Ben and Joe and Brad have all come to visit my pad so far and I can't wait to get some reds down here. Forgive any spelling errors or shit like that, I'm a little tipsay. I had a job interview with a continuation high school in Poway that's on a year round schedule. Think Orangewood in a mostly white middle class neighborhood. Oh the potential. Anyway, I'm supposed to find out this week about the job, so I'll keep the three readers of this blog posted on what happens.

Getting gay with dolphins

2004-06-18T10:58:00.000-07:00

Ah, SWSD... I love working there. Marine animals are so much better co-workers than some of the people I've had to endure in the past. I've come to notice a couple things about humans beyond my normal crushing observations I got from the Regional Park. The YRP, as much of a mecca of human stupidity as it is, is still not the size and scale of an amusement park, such as my current workplace.

Apparently if you are planning on taking the whole family, little children and all to a park where on a slow day there may be at least 10,000 other people it is not necessary to wear a bra. Especially if you are planning on going on any water rides that will get you soaking and cold. Now, ordinarily this would not be the kind of thing that I would complain about, however this statement is including all kinds of beasties large, small, old, etc. After a woman has mothered 17 children, you don't want to see her nipples, trust me.
The general populace knows wayyy more about marine life than do the trained educators at my place of employment. That or they learn one fact about a particular sea creature and will demonstrate their knowledge over and over again by asking confirmation of anybody wearing a nametag. "Uh, isn't it true that sea stars are capable of regenerating their limbs?" This kind of question is not an invitation to share more information with them about sea stars mind you, only an invitation to fall to our knees and venerate them for being so worldly-wise about the life, times, and culture under the sea. And of course if their one fact is inaccurate and you correct them, they get seriously annoyed and defensive, when they asked in the first place!!
We apparently get our whales drunk before they can go onstage. This was what one "guest" kept insisting to a co-worker of mine. He actually began the conversation with "I know your secret..." Adamantly he insisted that we ferment the fish - ferment the fish - inorder to intoxicate the whales. I don't know about you but... give me a call if you ever see Fish Wine on the market.

In other news, I finally have a bed, so no more sleeping on the floor for me, like I have been since May 31! I want people to see my house, come visit San Diego you magnificent bastards!!!

we salute you, mr. over-the-top-carb-counter

2004-06-15T01:20:00.000-07:00

REEEAL MEN OF GENIUS!! Ahh, finally, a nice clean blog slate and now a real post. Not so much a "here's my life" post, more of a "here's what I think" post. Dieting is the new religion. There's been this resurgence of dieting as of late, especially with the idea that obesity is the American epidemic. Personally, I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. I've always leaned toward the fitness side, probably because of my body's tendency to retain fat. Even when was doing water polo or crew I still held on to a little extra padding for some reason. So I do things like go running or pushups or some such thing. Here's the funny thing; the low-carb propaganda is beginning to get to me a little bit. When I reach for a snack now, instead of going for chips or something, I go for a few slices of lunchmeat or cheese. I think that maybe I should eat protein-rich foods like peanut butter in favor of popcorn. It's funny, even if you think you're the least susceptible person out there, you'll give in a little bit somewhere. Now, I don't go overboard - bunless burgers? Who wants to live that Hell? And of course I haven't cut down on my beer intake, really. And that low-carb beer? Absolute shit. Like drinking air. I could get a better buzz from garden hose water. Anyway, people argue about which diet is better, which works and which is a hoax, and people get very devout in terms of their diets. I'm telling you, it's the new religion. I forsee a future where people where those little Atkins A's around their necks instead of crosses.

Welcome to my little secret

2004-06-13T09:46:00.000-07:00

I'm too much of an egotist to think that I could give up blogging.