So... Alli and I were at the mall yesterday and we come upon thie store where the storefront has had massive cosmetic construction to make it look like an old brick apartment building, I'm guessing a la New York City. You walk inside and are immediatly greeted by a douchebag. Y'know the "collar up" type. Then the whole place is laid out in little rooms... like a lot of them... as though were it a penthouse apartment or something. And the whole time, loud, obnoxious, pretentious, techno-club type music is blaring. And each little room comes equipped with its own douchebag. The place is so done up that you have the think "is this a parody?" I mean, if you threw in Dieter from Sprockets, the illusion would be complete. Needless to say, Alli and I wandered patiently through each of the little rooms, and the whole time I'm getting more an more uncomfortable because I was dressed, let's face it, a little white-trashy, and I'm getting these looks from both the employee and the customer douchebags. Anyway, we scoot outta there without buying any $30 t-shirts and feeling a little off-put by the whole store in general... I went home and looked it up, turns out it's yet another head of the hideous Abercrombie and Fitch hydra.

What amazes me is not that they market their product as "You too can be a pretentious douchebag," but that SO MANY people buy it. And the really obvious "We're SO FUCKING EAST COAST OLD SCHOOL" vibe they try and put off only confirms a thought I've had for a long time: people from New York City are assholes. But that's a rant for another time. If you're curious about being a pretentious douchebag and want to see what I'm talking about, it's called Ruehl.

I can't judge too harshly, I suppose. It's my bad for dressing like I'm still 18 when I go out in public because it's more comfortable. I went into Nordstrom's to buy shoes on the same trip and well, my internal monologue went something like this: Hell, I'm a professional educator. PROFESSIONAL. The guys working at Nordstrom's are sales clerks. I don't deserve to be ignored, watched like a hawk, or scoffed at by these dudes... But how were they to have known? I was dressed like as soon as I was done I was going to go 'froading with some of my bros and crack a case of Coors Light. Catch-22 I suppose.

I have no conclusion so I merely take a little bow and exit stage left.

posted by MAtt D. at 1:33 PM