Took a road trip this Friday up to see my buddy Joe in his debut public performance in his band, Vega. They fucking rocked the house, with Joe front and center on stage. I got drunker than I've been in a quite a while and finally lost a battle that I've been winning for five years (or however long it's been that I've been drinking).
It all started at Stone. I met Ben and Dennis at Stone, and carefully monitored my sampling so that I would be able to successfully make the trip to Palm Desert. From there, Ben and I took off up the 15 to connect with a series of state highways that would take us through butt-fucking nowhere and ultimately to my demise. We stopped in Temecula for a bathroom break. I am accustomed to having an after school snack, and since we had gone right from work, it was about that time. Now, I don't know how much everyone knows, but I've been kind of a health nut lately. Salads for lunch every day, etc., etc. However, they don't necessarily sell veggies at a pit stop on the redneck side of Temecula. What they do sell are Spicier Nacho Doritoes and beef sticks. Apparently homemade beef sticks, since they were sans wrapper, sitting in a little plastic container on the counter marked with a faded orange sticker that forlornly proclaimed "2 for a dollar." My subsequent purchase and consumption of these foods is MISTAKE #1.
We get to PD, rendezvous with Joe, change into suitable garb for rocking! and then went to the local Albertsons for "supplies." I figured a 375ml flask size bottle of Jim Beam should do me just right. But they did not carry that size bottle of Jim Beam. What they did carry was a 375ml flask bottle of Sav-On brand bourbon, and for only FIVE BUCKS! How could I pass up such a deal? This shall be known as MISTAKE #2. (Also, on the way out, I notice small packs of King's Hawaiian rolls for 89 cents. "These would be good to sober me up later," I think to myself.)
On the way to the show, we stop by Circle K and buy a couple of super huge thirst quenching fountain cokes, for the concealment of our booze. Going back to the health nut thing, I NEVER drink soda, so the idea that I was going to drink 32 ounces of sugar syrup infused with cheap boubon? You got it. MISTAKE #3.
Somewhere along the way, apparently of my own volition, I bum a cigarette and smoke it. MISTAKE #4.
I need to call the Lost and Found at the bar because I'm missing a good three hours. I do remember stumbling out to the car, at this point I'm not sure if Joe was ready to leave, if I went out there and they found me later, I just don't know. I do know that I was feeling like maybe I had overdone it by drinking the entire bottle of cheap shit, in addition to the two beers I had in the bar. I remember trying to eat a Hawaiian roll, and not being able to even chew it, so done was I with sweet tastes for the night. Anyhow, on the drive home mind and body are feuding as usual. Normally when this happens with me, Mind wins. I force myself up the hill, no matter how much it burns, I finish my push-ups, and I keep my food in the stomach. This time around, Mind is far to incapacitated to fight back, but Body allows mind the courtesy of being able to say "Joe, I think you should pull over." He does, I stumble out, fall to my knees at the gutter and allow the torrential downpour to begin. Looking back, I don't remember anything about it other than I puked. And it doesn't seem that bad. And in the end, I got enough sense back to brush my teeth before bed.
posted by MAtt D. at 10:29 PM
