Most of the world knows Mardi Gras, but not many people know that it actually signifies the beginning of the season of Lent, the 40 days before Easter. (Okay, actually Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent, the day after Mardi Gras.)Anyway, I have kind of a weird past with the Catholic church that basically resulted in me constantly struggling to find a comfortable spirituality. No, it has nothing to do with any preists and my naughty bits. I've thought about it quite a bit and regardless of any reasons I might have to the contrary, I'd still rather be Catholic than anything else. And here's part of the reason why, I think - It seems to me that in comparison to most other religions I see: evangelicals, Methodists, Baptists, "non-denominationals," etc... Catholicism seems to be the most honest about sin. I mean, it acknowledges sin as a darker part of human nature that we all have to wrestle with, not as some Satan-driven phenomenon propelling Americans into the depths of Hell. That's the reason Lent is the time I'm most active as a Catholic, because Lent is a time to reflect on your sins and act on making some worldly reparation for those sins. And sin is not erased by throwing handfuls of dollars at hucksters on TV with southern accents. Charitable acts, making sacrifices, changing your life for the better, really making an effort to get in touch with your soul, that's what Lent is about.
So you don't eat meat on Fridays, you save your soul from burning in the eternal deep-fryer of damnation? Not quite - the idea is the sacrifice; you take away a small thing and you begin to notice how difficult it is to go without. The no meat thing sounds simple, but if you're used to having meat with dinner, or lunch, you suddenly have to be creative, maybe make an extra trip to the grocery store. And an important point I didn't ever get until this year - don't talk about it; don't let everyone you see know that you're having a hard time today because you gave this up, or you can't do that. Take the sacrifice in stride, see what doing without one simple thing does to your life.
I've lived in struggle with my spirituality for a long time, but that struggle is what let me know it's there. I can't imagine being an aspiritual being - that's gotta be a lonely feeling. And for all my struggle, I still wouldn't be anything but Catholic.