But what is it? What is being in love? Love is an addiction, like one can be addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even sex. And yes, there is a separation between love and sex to be made. I'm speaking of romantic love, not familial or fraternal... simply put Romantic Love is an addiction to another person. At least this is my experience. I have no problem admitting that I am thoroughly addicted to Alli. I hate saying good bye at night, we talk in the morning before work, and the first thing I do when I get out of work is to call her. Often as I stare out at the sea of cynical teenage faces waiting for me to fill them with knowledge that not only enlightens them, but entertains them as well, I will wish that I was with Alli doing something, anything - it could be waiting outside the dressing room at The Limited for all I could care. It's funny, too because her chosen field, finance, is the most mind-boggling thing in the world to me and nine times out of ten when she talks to me about work, I don't get it. I put up with her cat, and I hate cats. But for all our differences we've made it to close to four years. After four years, there is still nothing better than cozying up in her big armchair, our foreheads gently touching. There, that moment of serenity, of total peace with another person, that is the high that comes with romantic love, the high that makes the addiction pay off. Some people, those people who have striven to be "unique, strong individuals" their whole lives - you know the people who went to absurd extremes just to prove to a world that wasn't asking for proof how different they really are - would argue that there's something demeaning in the implication that love is simply an addiction to another person. I would argue no. I'm pretty sure I know myself well. I know what kind of an individual I am. I know what kind of a person I am. I am validated to myself. But that another human being, for no one is alone on this planet ("No man is an island" - John Donne), that is a true acknowledgment of my worth. At least... that's my take on it.

In truth it's been on my mind a lot lately because Alli and I have decided that we are mature enough, and have been together long enough to have the Big Talk. You know the one - the Next Big Step talk. At the very least I wish she and I lived together. But I honestly believe that I could pull off the Next Big Step (you notice, I'm still uncomfortable using the actual M-word) because I am so in love with Alli. And we've been even closer since we accepted that the NBS is probably in our future. Barring some unforeseen catastrophe (*knockknockknock*) we will probably wind up walking down an aisle, and I ain't talking 'bout going to Vons together.